This is my first post. Please read this and be honest with me. I apologize now for it being such a long story. I seriously need to know if I'm overreacting and just need a swift kick in the behind. Here goes.... 2 years ago I received an opportunity with my company for a promotion. Something I had been waiting on for 5 years. My HB was very supportive and told me to go for it. With the promotion, came relocation to another state. For the first 12 months, I lived alone with our son because my HB failed to relocate with me. Our plan was for him to join me after a couple of months because he needed to also find a job in the new area and we couldn't afford for him to quit his job without having a plan. He would come visit me in the new state every weekend, which cost a lot of money with all the back and forth traveling. My HB does not deal with changes well and after being alone for 12 months, I finally gave him an ultimatum. Either he moves now or he c ould spend the rest of his life in the old state living with his mother. This was also another reason why he was dragging his feet on moving, his mother. He didn't want to leave her because she was upset about us moving (we even offered to bring her with us). After I gave him the ultimatum, he quit his job and relocated to join me within 2 weeks. This part of the situation still has me feeling very bitter to this day. I felt like I was abandoned and left to deal with starting a new life on my own. I was starting a new career, moving into a new house, raising a teenager on my own that was getting ready to start high school and was scared to death and trying to learn how our new community worked. I lost a lot of trust in my husband and in our marriage at this point.
Part 2: With him finally joining us, we had another problem....the mortgage on the old house. We now had 2 mortgages in which we had been paying on for a year now. This was very difficult and financially strapping. Our original plan was to either sell or rent out the old house. He found friends to rent it out to. Big mistake. I urged him to make sure to get a lease agreement because I had a gut feeling this was bad. I made suggestions on what I felt the price of the rent should be. He disregarded my suggestion and basically cut the rate in half. It wasn't even close to covering the mortgage payment. 5 months into the renters living there, they stopped paying rent. They would not answer phone calls, texts, or their door. My husband took NO action to do anything to get them out until they had not paid rent for 6 months. He lied to me and I found out he never got a lease agreement in the first place. We finally got them out by getting a lawyer involved. To this day, they ow e us $5000 and he has no intention on trying to get a penny of it.
Part 3: The renters are out. Immediately he lets his niece and her family move into the house. He tells me he is going to charge them $400 a month which is less them the last renters were charged. Again no lease agreement. As of today, they have lived there for 7 months and have paid rent for 1 month only because I asked her for the money. I overheard him speaking to his cousin on the phone and saying he wasn't planning for his niece to pay rent at all. "After all it's family."
My frustration is my HB has a history of his family abusing him financially and he allows it. But it has gotten worse since we moved. He is now very secretive about his family and only speaks with them when I'm not around. Yes, I will admit that I have been very bitter about them but I also feel that I have done nothing wrong. His mother and I used to have a close relationship. She hasn't spoken a single word to me since we moved because everything is my fault. The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to provide my family with a better life. That's the only reason I took the promotion. He becomes very angry at me when I bring up anything about the house and collecting rent. Our marriage has literally gone down the drain in the last 2 years. I no longer try to involve myself in anything that has to do with his family because it always goes in a negative direction. I do not know what to do. He tells me I need to get over it and forgive them. I am concerned because having 2 mo rtgages is killing us. There literally is no wiggle room for anything. He finally admitted to me that he will never sell his house as long as his family is there. What am I to do?
Part 2: With him finally joining us, we had another problem....the mortgage on the old house. We now had 2 mortgages in which we had been paying on for a year now. This was very difficult and financially strapping. Our original plan was to either sell or rent out the old house. He found friends to rent it out to. Big mistake. I urged him to make sure to get a lease agreement because I had a gut feeling this was bad. I made suggestions on what I felt the price of the rent should be. He disregarded my suggestion and basically cut the rate in half. It wasn't even close to covering the mortgage payment. 5 months into the renters living there, they stopped paying rent. They would not answer phone calls, texts, or their door. My husband took NO action to do anything to get them out until they had not paid rent for 6 months. He lied to me and I found out he never got a lease agreement in the first place. We finally got them out by getting a lawyer involved. To this day, they ow e us $5000 and he has no intention on trying to get a penny of it.
Part 3: The renters are out. Immediately he lets his niece and her family move into the house. He tells me he is going to charge them $400 a month which is less them the last renters were charged. Again no lease agreement. As of today, they have lived there for 7 months and have paid rent for 1 month only because I asked her for the money. I overheard him speaking to his cousin on the phone and saying he wasn't planning for his niece to pay rent at all. "After all it's family."
My frustration is my HB has a history of his family abusing him financially and he allows it. But it has gotten worse since we moved. He is now very secretive about his family and only speaks with them when I'm not around. Yes, I will admit that I have been very bitter about them but I also feel that I have done nothing wrong. His mother and I used to have a close relationship. She hasn't spoken a single word to me since we moved because everything is my fault. The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to provide my family with a better life. That's the only reason I took the promotion. He becomes very angry at me when I bring up anything about the house and collecting rent. Our marriage has literally gone down the drain in the last 2 years. I no longer try to involve myself in anything that has to do with his family because it always goes in a negative direction. I do not know what to do. He tells me I need to get over it and forgive them. I am concerned because having 2 mo rtgages is killing us. There literally is no wiggle room for anything. He finally admitted to me that he will never sell his house as long as his family is there. What am I to do?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment