*I thought I would share a funny dating resume I made. Because why not.*
Dear Potential Mate,
It has come to my attention your heart is hiring and I would like to express my interest in the best boyfriend ever position. Currently, I am a ruggedly handsome, and intelligent, single father of three, with no one begging for my attention (yet). Please review my soul included in this packet.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Randy Pyles
PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY:
I go as slow as you need me to.
I know you have a schedule.
I like to call just to say hi or I love you.
I'm totally down for the "Package deal."
Super good cuddler.
I'll talk about whatever girly thing you want to talk about.
You can kiss me whenever you want.
While you talk about those girly things, I'll actually listen. Promise.
You'll know you're in if I let you meet my kids. It'll be easy.
I value talk over text.
I play for keeps.
PROJECTS:
Raising three kids
So you know I'm good with kids, and I'm patient.
Former marriage
It may seem bad at first, but I've been around and I know I'm not the center of attention. It also means I'm not afraid of baggage or responsibility.
I went to college.
I still have all my text books. Between that and my love of conversation, we will never run out of things to talk about. I'm no dummy.
I have a full time job.
I just might be able to buy you stuff. .
I workout sometimes.
I'm not fat, but I'm not, like, ripped.
Experience:
I'm a hard-working professional who cares deeply about my children and career, but I'm also a big nerd. I have three kids, two girls and a boy.
I am a huge believer in the idea that your significant other should be your very best friend in the world. It took me awhile to come to that understanding but once I arrived there I realized I can't afford to settle for anything less. That's why I think it is so important to not jump straight to dating or to being a couple, which makes the whole dating website thing a little counterintuitive. There isn't exactly the same thing on a "friendship" website.
I really enjoy my Darebee.com workout routine. Fitness is fairly new to me, but I love it. I lost 15 pounds in the first month doing nothing but bodyweight calisthenics.
I'm very philosophical and existential. Anything in regards to science and religion, I could just go on all day about. When I say religion, I'm not religious but I do find religions fascinating from a social evolutionary point of view.
If you're the type to watch the Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate, you're the one.
I also really like fixing things. That's where my heart is. Closing that gap from the way something is behaving, and bringing it back to it's original state.
I still have a bucket list, hopefully they match up with yours:
First and foremost, to own my own house
Travel back to Souda Bay, Crete
Get back into photography professionally
To own an AMC Javelin
Climb the corporate ladder, of course
More tattoos
To meet Bill Nye
CLEARANCE LEVEL:
You can tell me all your secrets. You are safe with me, I promise.
REFERENCES:
That would be kinda awkward, but I'm sure I could manage it.
Dear Potential Mate,
It has come to my attention your heart is hiring and I would like to express my interest in the best boyfriend ever position. Currently, I am a ruggedly handsome, and intelligent, single father of three, with no one begging for my attention (yet). Please review my soul included in this packet.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Randy Pyles
PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY:
I go as slow as you need me to.
I know you have a schedule.
I like to call just to say hi or I love you.
I'm totally down for the "Package deal."
Super good cuddler.
I'll talk about whatever girly thing you want to talk about.
You can kiss me whenever you want.
While you talk about those girly things, I'll actually listen. Promise.
You'll know you're in if I let you meet my kids. It'll be easy.
I value talk over text.
I play for keeps.
PROJECTS:
Raising three kids
So you know I'm good with kids, and I'm patient.
Former marriage
It may seem bad at first, but I've been around and I know I'm not the center of attention. It also means I'm not afraid of baggage or responsibility.
I went to college.
I still have all my text books. Between that and my love of conversation, we will never run out of things to talk about. I'm no dummy.
I have a full time job.
I just might be able to buy you stuff. .
I workout sometimes.
I'm not fat, but I'm not, like, ripped.
Experience:
I'm a hard-working professional who cares deeply about my children and career, but I'm also a big nerd. I have three kids, two girls and a boy.
I am a huge believer in the idea that your significant other should be your very best friend in the world. It took me awhile to come to that understanding but once I arrived there I realized I can't afford to settle for anything less. That's why I think it is so important to not jump straight to dating or to being a couple, which makes the whole dating website thing a little counterintuitive. There isn't exactly the same thing on a "friendship" website.
I really enjoy my Darebee.com workout routine. Fitness is fairly new to me, but I love it. I lost 15 pounds in the first month doing nothing but bodyweight calisthenics.
I'm very philosophical and existential. Anything in regards to science and religion, I could just go on all day about. When I say religion, I'm not religious but I do find religions fascinating from a social evolutionary point of view.
If you're the type to watch the Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate, you're the one.
I also really like fixing things. That's where my heart is. Closing that gap from the way something is behaving, and bringing it back to it's original state.
I still have a bucket list, hopefully they match up with yours:
First and foremost, to own my own house
Travel back to Souda Bay, Crete
Get back into photography professionally
To own an AMC Javelin
Climb the corporate ladder, of course
More tattoos
To meet Bill Nye
CLEARANCE LEVEL:
You can tell me all your secrets. You are safe with me, I promise.
REFERENCES:
That would be kinda awkward, but I'm sure I could manage it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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