My wife left me 3 weeks ago because of my insecurity issues we have been married 2 years together for 9.
In that time she had befriended an old school friend who she kept in contact with but was more than a friend.
He would send her filthy pictures of himself and she woud send pictures of herself in underwear along with texts..
I found out before we were married after being the major bread winner and doing everything to keep a roof over our heads and cope with her very difficult daughter.
It tore me apart, but after calming down i forgave her but she said it was over between us..i couldn't believe it all she put me though and all i had done and she finished it! I went crazy, ended up being arrested and put in a cell overnight for damaging our rental property. I did not harm anyone nor did i want to i felt betrayed and wanted to end my own life and suffering.
So she left then and months went by and gradually we started talking again..we still had feelings for one another..we dated several times...slept together..then she finished it again saying her family hated me for going mad and thought i was some psycho..i was upset by this..but again after a short while she came back and we got back together..her saying that we were important and her family would come round in time.
I was so happy we lived together with her daughter and my daughter stayed with us every couple of weekends..
We were getting on fine and decided to get married much to her families disgust...but we did it for us..a small wedding as we had both been married before..a lovely day.
Things were ok for a while i had started my own business and i guess that was stressful..she worked a part time job, we coped with things. Then last year she had a kidney infection and nearly died..i was by her side and terribly worried for her she was in hospital for 2 weeks. When she came out i helped out as much as i could as she couldn't do much, it was good to just have her back. Time went on and my long lost father contacted me after 35 years..he lives in spain and invited us both out..We booked the tickets but the day before Debbie said she was worried about her health and didn't want to go..i was a little upset by this but respected her decision and flew alone.
A few days later she flew out to be with me saying she loved and wanted to support me..anyway it went bad with my fathers wife and we left and a had 5 days in Spain in a hotel on our own and had a great time together. When we got back the next morning i checked her phone out of curiosity as before we went out she sent me some photos of herself and mentioned a word that her friend had used in his previous texts..Oh my god! They had been skyping each other for over a month before our 1st anniversary, explicit and again sending photos...i was heartbroken..i confronted her she said it meant nothing and i was everything..i went for a walk to try and work out whar to do..this was the third time with him..he just wouldn't go away.
I loved her her though and decided to forgive her and put it behind us...but my trust in her had gone. I constantly checked her phone and was so insecure..it wasn't nice living like that..she said it was over but i could never be sure.
This will sound so odd and wrong but i changed the way i thought about it..i told her to meet up with him and get it over with..To get it out of her system once and for all..after a long time in February this year she went to his house and they did it.
She came home saying that she loved me and it wasn't what she thought it would be like..but i don't think she wanted to stop it.
I said that was the end she had what she wanted, it just drove us apart and after 2 weeks i moved out unable to deal with it.
He incidentally has a pretty wife and 3 children a good job the lot..so i sent his wife a message telling her all about them both..without a reply.
We kept talking and said we could put it behind us and move on..she and her daughter moved in with me and we tried to work it out..i couldn't stop worrying and checking her phone i found lots more old photos he had sent..it had been going on right after we were married and never stopped..this killed me inside..i trusted her time and time again..i didn't want to try anymore i didn't give her much attention and we both drifed apart..her saying that it was all my fault for being insecure and that it was over after they last met..but i know she kept checking for his emails just in case..anyway 3 weeks ago her snd her daughter left..saying that she couldn't do this anymore..i was distaught again..what had i done why couldn't i just have let it go and not worried about it! I begged her to come back and pleaded with her but to no avail, she moved in with a friend and her daughter stayed with her dad. I kept texting her to come back i was sorry..i was in a bad way again..i thought i t was over and in a low moment i printed off all the photos he sent her along with the messages and handed it to his wife and walked away..
A few days passed and we started talking again, went out to lunch and were getting back on track..saying we can move on from it...then last week after meeting her in town she ran into his wife..she went mad..and let rip on Debbie and said how could she stay with a deranged husband like me..
Debbie came into my work and said id humiliated her and wanted to know what id done..i didn't say but said it all didn't matter now..she walked off..later messaged me saying that how could i have done that and it was over..i guess she had emailed him and he told her what I'd done.
I called and texted her for 2 days but she did not reply then eventually on Friday last week we talked. I explained it was done in a state of madness and i regretted doing it i said that we can now leave it behind and we can get on with our lives..but no..she said i had destroyed the last bit of trust she had for me and for me not to contact her anymore. I said please don't talk to him she said it didnt matter anymore..i said just have the weekend to think about i will call her on Monday(today) and that was the last time i spoke to her..
Im sorry this is such a long story but there is more obviously inbetween..without all this crap with them we have always been good together the only arguments coming ftom this..i love her so much and want no other, i have issues that she has given me over the years and im now having counselling..
I want her back, but fear i haved pushed her back into his arm's if he has split with his wife..i don't think he would as he has a good thing there and 3 children he would be fighting to keep it together..but she might be talking to him and consoling him..
These thoughts drive me crazy..i feel im the victim yet im the one in this position once again pining for my wife..
Im not going to contact her today as i heard the no contact rule is a way forward but maybe im giving her what she really wants anyway by doing that.
All her furniture is in my house and i hate seeing it as i just think of her..
Im a mess my business is taking a hit i just cant think of anything else..i really dont want to be around anymore..
In that time she had befriended an old school friend who she kept in contact with but was more than a friend.
He would send her filthy pictures of himself and she woud send pictures of herself in underwear along with texts..
I found out before we were married after being the major bread winner and doing everything to keep a roof over our heads and cope with her very difficult daughter.
It tore me apart, but after calming down i forgave her but she said it was over between us..i couldn't believe it all she put me though and all i had done and she finished it! I went crazy, ended up being arrested and put in a cell overnight for damaging our rental property. I did not harm anyone nor did i want to i felt betrayed and wanted to end my own life and suffering.
So she left then and months went by and gradually we started talking again..we still had feelings for one another..we dated several times...slept together..then she finished it again saying her family hated me for going mad and thought i was some psycho..i was upset by this..but again after a short while she came back and we got back together..her saying that we were important and her family would come round in time.
I was so happy we lived together with her daughter and my daughter stayed with us every couple of weekends..
We were getting on fine and decided to get married much to her families disgust...but we did it for us..a small wedding as we had both been married before..a lovely day.
Things were ok for a while i had started my own business and i guess that was stressful..she worked a part time job, we coped with things. Then last year she had a kidney infection and nearly died..i was by her side and terribly worried for her she was in hospital for 2 weeks. When she came out i helped out as much as i could as she couldn't do much, it was good to just have her back. Time went on and my long lost father contacted me after 35 years..he lives in spain and invited us both out..We booked the tickets but the day before Debbie said she was worried about her health and didn't want to go..i was a little upset by this but respected her decision and flew alone.
A few days later she flew out to be with me saying she loved and wanted to support me..anyway it went bad with my fathers wife and we left and a had 5 days in Spain in a hotel on our own and had a great time together. When we got back the next morning i checked her phone out of curiosity as before we went out she sent me some photos of herself and mentioned a word that her friend had used in his previous texts..Oh my god! They had been skyping each other for over a month before our 1st anniversary, explicit and again sending photos...i was heartbroken..i confronted her she said it meant nothing and i was everything..i went for a walk to try and work out whar to do..this was the third time with him..he just wouldn't go away.
I loved her her though and decided to forgive her and put it behind us...but my trust in her had gone. I constantly checked her phone and was so insecure..it wasn't nice living like that..she said it was over but i could never be sure.
This will sound so odd and wrong but i changed the way i thought about it..i told her to meet up with him and get it over with..To get it out of her system once and for all..after a long time in February this year she went to his house and they did it.
She came home saying that she loved me and it wasn't what she thought it would be like..but i don't think she wanted to stop it.
I said that was the end she had what she wanted, it just drove us apart and after 2 weeks i moved out unable to deal with it.
He incidentally has a pretty wife and 3 children a good job the lot..so i sent his wife a message telling her all about them both..without a reply.
We kept talking and said we could put it behind us and move on..she and her daughter moved in with me and we tried to work it out..i couldn't stop worrying and checking her phone i found lots more old photos he had sent..it had been going on right after we were married and never stopped..this killed me inside..i trusted her time and time again..i didn't want to try anymore i didn't give her much attention and we both drifed apart..her saying that it was all my fault for being insecure and that it was over after they last met..but i know she kept checking for his emails just in case..anyway 3 weeks ago her snd her daughter left..saying that she couldn't do this anymore..i was distaught again..what had i done why couldn't i just have let it go and not worried about it! I begged her to come back and pleaded with her but to no avail, she moved in with a friend and her daughter stayed with her dad. I kept texting her to come back i was sorry..i was in a bad way again..i thought i t was over and in a low moment i printed off all the photos he sent her along with the messages and handed it to his wife and walked away..
A few days passed and we started talking again, went out to lunch and were getting back on track..saying we can move on from it...then last week after meeting her in town she ran into his wife..she went mad..and let rip on Debbie and said how could she stay with a deranged husband like me..
Debbie came into my work and said id humiliated her and wanted to know what id done..i didn't say but said it all didn't matter now..she walked off..later messaged me saying that how could i have done that and it was over..i guess she had emailed him and he told her what I'd done.
I called and texted her for 2 days but she did not reply then eventually on Friday last week we talked. I explained it was done in a state of madness and i regretted doing it i said that we can now leave it behind and we can get on with our lives..but no..she said i had destroyed the last bit of trust she had for me and for me not to contact her anymore. I said please don't talk to him she said it didnt matter anymore..i said just have the weekend to think about i will call her on Monday(today) and that was the last time i spoke to her..
Im sorry this is such a long story but there is more obviously inbetween..without all this crap with them we have always been good together the only arguments coming ftom this..i love her so much and want no other, i have issues that she has given me over the years and im now having counselling..
I want her back, but fear i haved pushed her back into his arm's if he has split with his wife..i don't think he would as he has a good thing there and 3 children he would be fighting to keep it together..but she might be talking to him and consoling him..
These thoughts drive me crazy..i feel im the victim yet im the one in this position once again pining for my wife..
Im not going to contact her today as i heard the no contact rule is a way forward but maybe im giving her what she really wants anyway by doing that.
All her furniture is in my house and i hate seeing it as i just think of her..
Im a mess my business is taking a hit i just cant think of anything else..i really dont want to be around anymore..
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