Hi... First up I dont want people to think im entitled to anything having 'white girl problems' i just need to rant a bit. Its a long one.
I have moderate depression and anxiety. This affects the way I feel on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes its fine and sometimes i feel numb/desperately sad.
My life isnt going great and it never has done. The only thing that's right is my perfect partner. Im still shocked at how lucky I am to have him. But we arent having any luck...
Basically we are broke. Like, massive overdraft debt and car insurance due and saving for a place and paying rent and saving for a future. We have graduated uni now - i finished in december and OH finished this month. I got a 2:1 and he got a 2:2. I have been jobsearching 24/7 since january for jobs but have not been successful. Ive updated my cv with the help of forum members and a few recruitment guys from linkedin and still no luck. My OH has had no luck yet either, including work placements and grad schemes. Neither of our parents can afford to help but we are living in my OH's parents' house atm. Its in the middle of a field in nowhere so we have to have our own car for interviews which we cant afford. We have had a small accident too (dented a door) which we have said we'd pay for without going through insurance as it is due next month and we cant afford for it to go up. We dont have a good relationship with my OH's parents (they dont let us use any room except the box room and bathroom) but we want to live up north - (cheaper) we are hopefully going to find somewhere to live up there soon. We have until the end of august to move out. We are stressed, disheartened and cant do anything because we are broke. My OH has £28 left. I have whatever is in my purse. We steal food to eat and have begged for petrol. My parents are really skint and have no money left after paychecks. They also don't have a spare room or even a big enough sofa/floor. It doesnt help that i have no friends at all and my family are hours away. I feel so hopeless. I want to give up and die, but i couldnt leave my OH on his own. He tries to be strong but i know he lies awake all night worrying.
Am i overreacting? Is this was life is? How can i feel better?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment