I came to TAM 3 years ago (different user name) for help with coping with being unable to conceive after 5 years, and what it was doing to our marriage. We worked through it, and then ended up conceiving. I'm a SAHM, and we have been flipping houses on the side. Last year I got my real estate license so that we could eliminate the realtor commissions. I wasn't seeking my own clients, but a few fell in my lap and I didn't feel right turning them down. I have 2 buyers now and we have 2 flips, with one ready to list this weekend, and one we have not even closed on yet but with a short projected renovation time. That's background information to why I find myself so conflicted with this issue.
H is being detailed for 18 months. Without getting into detail, it is more than a few days away by car, and about a 5 to 7 hour flight. He would come back to his home office here once a month. Baby and I can go with him. Job will pay for corporate housing studio apartment; we can pay the difference for a 1 or 2 bedrm. I was very skeptical at first, but then began to look forward to it. Getting to come home every month would make being away from family & friends bearable. We were still discussing the details of wrapping up the real estate stuff.
And then we got pregnant.
Now I am facing dilemmas which I have outlined:
1. I had a premature delivery with 1st baby. Should I risk flying monthly with him, or risk being alone with a toddler and something could go wrong with the pregnancy while he is on travel?
2. I probably won't be able to fly after we come home for Christmas. Should I stay in our hometown and have the baby possibly without hubby?
3. If I fly back to our temporary home after Christmas , I will have to stay put during 1 or 2 of his trips back home while I wait to have the baby, with no friends or family, and a 2 year old. Is that wise? Also if I have baby away from home, I will be stuck there with infant and toddler, no friends or family, when he travels back home, until the baby is old enough to travel. Plus the risk for delivering while he is back home with no one around to keep my daughter.
4. If I stay home at Christmas, I will have plenty of family and friends around, but no hubby. Just thinking about THAT stresses me out.
5. We had planned to make the road trip from hel! to get our vehicle there, but I don't think it is wise for me to make that road trip with him (he has driving help). If I don't go, I will probably end up staying here until the real estate transactions are done. Our cut-off for that is September (if we don't sell both houses and if I don't find my 2 clients a house by then). That's a LONG time!
6. Do I get an ob in both locations? I wanted to use a doula again but again there is the risk of having the baby in either location.
This is partially venting, but I thought maybe somebody, in the military or with a job that requires travel or relocation, might have gone through a pregnancy in the midst of it? Or found yourselves in a town with no family or friends in the midst of pregnancy? Or maybe you all might have suggestions for the things we can't seem to settle on. My husband says let's just play it by ear and try not to stress out about it. Some of this stuff I was hoping to settle at my prenatal exam yesterday. I was disappointed that she seemed to shrug off most my concerns or give wishy-washy answers. It was really disheartening.
Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.
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H is being detailed for 18 months. Without getting into detail, it is more than a few days away by car, and about a 5 to 7 hour flight. He would come back to his home office here once a month. Baby and I can go with him. Job will pay for corporate housing studio apartment; we can pay the difference for a 1 or 2 bedrm. I was very skeptical at first, but then began to look forward to it. Getting to come home every month would make being away from family & friends bearable. We were still discussing the details of wrapping up the real estate stuff.
And then we got pregnant.
Now I am facing dilemmas which I have outlined:
1. I had a premature delivery with 1st baby. Should I risk flying monthly with him, or risk being alone with a toddler and something could go wrong with the pregnancy while he is on travel?
2. I probably won't be able to fly after we come home for Christmas. Should I stay in our hometown and have the baby possibly without hubby?
3. If I fly back to our temporary home after Christmas , I will have to stay put during 1 or 2 of his trips back home while I wait to have the baby, with no friends or family, and a 2 year old. Is that wise? Also if I have baby away from home, I will be stuck there with infant and toddler, no friends or family, when he travels back home, until the baby is old enough to travel. Plus the risk for delivering while he is back home with no one around to keep my daughter.
4. If I stay home at Christmas, I will have plenty of family and friends around, but no hubby. Just thinking about THAT stresses me out.
5. We had planned to make the road trip from hel! to get our vehicle there, but I don't think it is wise for me to make that road trip with him (he has driving help). If I don't go, I will probably end up staying here until the real estate transactions are done. Our cut-off for that is September (if we don't sell both houses and if I don't find my 2 clients a house by then). That's a LONG time!
6. Do I get an ob in both locations? I wanted to use a doula again but again there is the risk of having the baby in either location.
This is partially venting, but I thought maybe somebody, in the military or with a job that requires travel or relocation, might have gone through a pregnancy in the midst of it? Or found yourselves in a town with no family or friends in the midst of pregnancy? Or maybe you all might have suggestions for the things we can't seem to settle on. My husband says let's just play it by ear and try not to stress out about it. Some of this stuff I was hoping to settle at my prenatal exam yesterday. I was disappointed that she seemed to shrug off most my concerns or give wishy-washy answers. It was really disheartening.
Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.
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