My wife says she builds resent towards me because how I'm more affectionate with her after we have sex and this carries on for some days but slowly diminishes the longer we go without have sex again. And she hates that I can't have the same level of affection when we go weeks without sex.
I don't know what it is, but the longer we go without sex the more distant I feel from her. I just feel a much closer / loving bond with my wife when we are physical with each other...it just does something with my hormones that brings out more of the loving side out of me.
As a man, my number 1 "need" is physical and my wife's number 1 "need" is affection. And lately it's just been hard getting this cycle going again so we both meet our main number 1 "needs".
When we talk about "us", she always says that I use to love her so much at the beginning of the relationship but now it's just not the same. And in my head, I'm like because the cycle was working for us back then. My main sexual "needs" were being met by you and in turn I was able to meet her main affectionate "needs".
But now that cycle has been broken and it's hard for us to get back in to a rhythm again. I'll try to be affectionate with her and not make it lead to sex, but then if we go without sex for 2+ weeks; I start feeling resentment towards her because now I'm meeting her main number 1 "need" and my main number 1 "need" is not being met.
I hate it now that I'm viewed as a sex fiend for just wanting to have sex with my wife; which is my number 1 "need". This wasn't an issue at the beginning of our relationship because we would be having sex 1-3 times a week; so she was meeting my physical "needs" just fine and in turn I was meeting her affectionate "needs" just fine because we were staying true to our "needs cycle".
So now I'm suppose to be okay giving her affectionate needs; while I sit here in the corner and hope an pray that maybe we will have sex 1 time this week if I'm lucky...
One thing that bothers me is when she says that she gives so much to me to be a good wife and she doesn't know what else she can do to make me happy. For example, she says I try to be a good wife and cook dinner, do the laundry, be supportive with my side business, be affectionate with me...which are all great things! But in the back of my mind all I keep thinking is you do all these great things for me, but you still don't meet my main number 1 physical need. All these things are great, but they are things that I can do myself and it's not what really makes me happy.
Thank you!
I don't know what it is, but the longer we go without sex the more distant I feel from her. I just feel a much closer / loving bond with my wife when we are physical with each other...it just does something with my hormones that brings out more of the loving side out of me.
As a man, my number 1 "need" is physical and my wife's number 1 "need" is affection. And lately it's just been hard getting this cycle going again so we both meet our main number 1 "needs".
When we talk about "us", she always says that I use to love her so much at the beginning of the relationship but now it's just not the same. And in my head, I'm like because the cycle was working for us back then. My main sexual "needs" were being met by you and in turn I was able to meet her main affectionate "needs".
But now that cycle has been broken and it's hard for us to get back in to a rhythm again. I'll try to be affectionate with her and not make it lead to sex, but then if we go without sex for 2+ weeks; I start feeling resentment towards her because now I'm meeting her main number 1 "need" and my main number 1 "need" is not being met.
I hate it now that I'm viewed as a sex fiend for just wanting to have sex with my wife; which is my number 1 "need". This wasn't an issue at the beginning of our relationship because we would be having sex 1-3 times a week; so she was meeting my physical "needs" just fine and in turn I was meeting her affectionate "needs" just fine because we were staying true to our "needs cycle".
So now I'm suppose to be okay giving her affectionate needs; while I sit here in the corner and hope an pray that maybe we will have sex 1 time this week if I'm lucky...
One thing that bothers me is when she says that she gives so much to me to be a good wife and she doesn't know what else she can do to make me happy. For example, she says I try to be a good wife and cook dinner, do the laundry, be supportive with my side business, be affectionate with me...which are all great things! But in the back of my mind all I keep thinking is you do all these great things for me, but you still don't meet my main number 1 physical need. All these things are great, but they are things that I can do myself and it's not what really makes me happy.
Thank you!
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