Last September my wife of 16 years told me that she was "ready to move on" and "strong enough to do it alone". I was stunned. Didn't see it coming in a million years. In my opinion our marriage was happy and fulfilling. There was never infidelity or physical abuse. We did have our fair share of arguments over the years, but always reconciled afterwards. She feels that I don't respect her opinion or listen good enough. I'll admit that I could work on my listening skills (most men fall into this category) but I always had a respect for her opinion and ideas. I feel she has strong tendencies to confuse a difference of opinion with a lack of respect for an opinion. Let me share with you a sequence of events that led up to our marriage falling apart:
1. Her Grandfather, whom she loved dearly, passed away in Feb 2014. She struggled with his death.
2. Our dog of 10 years had to be put down in March 2014. (She loved that dog).
3. She had knee surgery in April 2014. This was very hard on her as she wasn't able to keep up with all that life demands from a working mother and wife. In addition, she couldn't exercise for months which was depressing to her.
4. For the most of 2014 our teenage boy was giving us problems and I could have handled it better.
5. She started school in Sept 2015 to finish her college degree.(I'll admit that I strongly encouraged her to do this for two reasons: a) set an example for our children and b) have a backup plan in the event of my death.
In Sept 2014 she told me that she no longer had feelings for me. In Feb 2015, I moved out of the house.
I'm still in shock. I am a good husband and father (not perfect, of course), but I certainly don't deserve this.
I have spent the last 8 months doing everything possible to improve the areas about me that bother her. This has gotten me nowhere.
My therapist thinks that all of the "unwanted change" that my wife experienced inf the past 18 months caused her to have a breakdown. When I told her this, she disagreed and said that all of the change brought out her true feelings about me.
I'm beside my self at this point. She wants a divorce and I can't change her mind.
Two years ago she told my 12 year old daughter that "mom and dad will never get a divorce and to not worry".
My oh my how things can change so fast.
Does anybody have some advice? I really want to save my marriage, but it's not looking to good at this point. Thanks.
1. Her Grandfather, whom she loved dearly, passed away in Feb 2014. She struggled with his death.
2. Our dog of 10 years had to be put down in March 2014. (She loved that dog).
3. She had knee surgery in April 2014. This was very hard on her as she wasn't able to keep up with all that life demands from a working mother and wife. In addition, she couldn't exercise for months which was depressing to her.
4. For the most of 2014 our teenage boy was giving us problems and I could have handled it better.
5. She started school in Sept 2015 to finish her college degree.(I'll admit that I strongly encouraged her to do this for two reasons: a) set an example for our children and b) have a backup plan in the event of my death.
In Sept 2014 she told me that she no longer had feelings for me. In Feb 2015, I moved out of the house.
I'm still in shock. I am a good husband and father (not perfect, of course), but I certainly don't deserve this.
I have spent the last 8 months doing everything possible to improve the areas about me that bother her. This has gotten me nowhere.
My therapist thinks that all of the "unwanted change" that my wife experienced inf the past 18 months caused her to have a breakdown. When I told her this, she disagreed and said that all of the change brought out her true feelings about me.
I'm beside my self at this point. She wants a divorce and I can't change her mind.
Two years ago she told my 12 year old daughter that "mom and dad will never get a divorce and to not worry".
My oh my how things can change so fast.
Does anybody have some advice? I really want to save my marriage, but it's not looking to good at this point. Thanks.
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