Hi,
I am aware this is a womens forum but I am posting here in the hope of a womens angle on a quick question - not an epic thread.
I found a handful of porn links in my wife's internet history(*) and I feel distracted by it. I assume I just feel bad that I do not measure up to visual 'ideals' or threatened in case of her exploring a new relationship when we are not financially secure (**).
I do not like not feeling good and would like to feel comfortable and secure, tolerant and understanding. I fall short of that but I am not sure how to get there.
What sort of input do I want?
Probably just someone saying - "So what if she likes porn? It is harmless fun. We all do and if not then some do more than others and it doesn't matter!"
Perhaps I squirm away form posting in front of men in case it shows private failings? If that is so then I would welcome responses that say "Ha Ha. It actually IS about you! You can learn something useful here." or suchlike.
Or none of the above - any insights or responses -even 'mega MEH' very welcome :-)
I know I cannot change her eg her sleep pattern is what it is but I don't know if I can change myself without just disengaging... I am tired.
(Sometimes I feel a bit attracted to others although if I was not in this relationship I would not expect to be able to build a healthy one with someone else and I probably would rather spend a few years with myself getting on my feet anyway even if I did feel the urge to empathise/bond/attach or whatever.
I would want her to be happy then feel hurt when I saw her looking happy with someone. Maybe TMI but slight red flag for me.)
This could be just the motivation I need to really go on a diet!
(Or at least a sustainable balanced healthy lifestyle.) :-)
Thanks.
*She stays up at night on the internet and happened to leave incognito tab open on a device of mine she had been using.
** one of the links was of the sort for dating or snapsext or whatever -probably just an ad but it still is something that scares me much as I would like to be so cool instead.
I am aware this is a womens forum but I am posting here in the hope of a womens angle on a quick question - not an epic thread.
I found a handful of porn links in my wife's internet history(*) and I feel distracted by it. I assume I just feel bad that I do not measure up to visual 'ideals' or threatened in case of her exploring a new relationship when we are not financially secure (**).
I do not like not feeling good and would like to feel comfortable and secure, tolerant and understanding. I fall short of that but I am not sure how to get there.
What sort of input do I want?
Probably just someone saying - "So what if she likes porn? It is harmless fun. We all do and if not then some do more than others and it doesn't matter!"
Perhaps I squirm away form posting in front of men in case it shows private failings? If that is so then I would welcome responses that say "Ha Ha. It actually IS about you! You can learn something useful here." or suchlike.
Or none of the above - any insights or responses -even 'mega MEH' very welcome :-)
I know I cannot change her eg her sleep pattern is what it is but I don't know if I can change myself without just disengaging... I am tired.
(Sometimes I feel a bit attracted to others although if I was not in this relationship I would not expect to be able to build a healthy one with someone else and I probably would rather spend a few years with myself getting on my feet anyway even if I did feel the urge to empathise/bond/attach or whatever.
I would want her to be happy then feel hurt when I saw her looking happy with someone. Maybe TMI but slight red flag for me.)
This could be just the motivation I need to really go on a diet!
(Or at least a sustainable balanced healthy lifestyle.) :-)
Thanks.
*She stays up at night on the internet and happened to leave incognito tab open on a device of mine she had been using.
** one of the links was of the sort for dating or snapsext or whatever -probably just an ad but it still is something that scares me much as I would like to be so cool instead.
Put the internet to work for you.
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