Hey ya'll,
This last month has been a really motivating one for me. I've been eating healthy, exercising daily, taking dance lessons, working on my dreams/goals and basically just taking really good care of myself. I got divorced about a year ago to the day and I'd say my life is finally back on track and for the better. Lately a couple things have been on my mind and I'd like some help working on them. I will try to keep this brief:
1) As a child my mother was very strict, and I got the "No" answer quite a lot. Growing up now (and I think I can almost generalize that I share this feeling with my generation), I seem to be a Yes man and can be very stubborn and naive. This behavior has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past (like planning too many things at once, difficulty in saying no, Russian roulette (in ways), etc) and I was hoping to get some advice from other men on how to overcome stubbornness.
2) Impatience, selfishness and porn. I don't watch it that much, but I enjoy it quite a lot. Why? IMO, it's quick, it's simple, there is variety, it's free and it doesn't involve anybody else. I know I am not addicted. I don't have problems in the bedroom, nor does it "rob" me of the intimacy (at least I think), but generally speaking, I feel as if sex to me now is nothing more then "just a release", and I am wondering if that behavior could lead me to problems in the future. I can't pinpoint if this mentality comes from watching porn itself or from a lack of intimacy in relationships. It doesn't impact my dates (that I know of), and I don't feel any shame/guilt from it (although I know I can be a borderline misogynist), but I find myself, similar to #1, impatient and very selfish in my approach. I am trying to change this. Often I feel like all I need is a release and don't want to go through the hoops of dating nor paying for it (sounds harsh, but that's how I think). My qu estion, is this bad? What are the consequences of such thinking if any? Otherwise, how else can this 25 year old stop being so horny? I have better things to do then chase girls and waste precious juice.
I don't think I'll ever settle for porn vs the real thing. My worry is that I am subconsciously objectifying women and that's something they can tell, and maybe why I am having trouble meeting women just as friends (again, despite the fact that I don't watch porn much, but when I do, THAT is the behavior I seem to have). I think that what I said in #1 also impacts #2, and I am wondering how I stop feeling so self-entitled, impatient and stubborn (or some questions I could probe to get closer to the root of the issue).
Thanks everyone. Hope this makes sense lol.
This last month has been a really motivating one for me. I've been eating healthy, exercising daily, taking dance lessons, working on my dreams/goals and basically just taking really good care of myself. I got divorced about a year ago to the day and I'd say my life is finally back on track and for the better. Lately a couple things have been on my mind and I'd like some help working on them. I will try to keep this brief:
1) As a child my mother was very strict, and I got the "No" answer quite a lot. Growing up now (and I think I can almost generalize that I share this feeling with my generation), I seem to be a Yes man and can be very stubborn and naive. This behavior has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past (like planning too many things at once, difficulty in saying no, Russian roulette (in ways), etc) and I was hoping to get some advice from other men on how to overcome stubbornness.
2) Impatience, selfishness and porn. I don't watch it that much, but I enjoy it quite a lot. Why? IMO, it's quick, it's simple, there is variety, it's free and it doesn't involve anybody else. I know I am not addicted. I don't have problems in the bedroom, nor does it "rob" me of the intimacy (at least I think), but generally speaking, I feel as if sex to me now is nothing more then "just a release", and I am wondering if that behavior could lead me to problems in the future. I can't pinpoint if this mentality comes from watching porn itself or from a lack of intimacy in relationships. It doesn't impact my dates (that I know of), and I don't feel any shame/guilt from it (although I know I can be a borderline misogynist), but I find myself, similar to #1, impatient and very selfish in my approach. I am trying to change this. Often I feel like all I need is a release and don't want to go through the hoops of dating nor paying for it (sounds harsh, but that's how I think). My qu estion, is this bad? What are the consequences of such thinking if any? Otherwise, how else can this 25 year old stop being so horny? I have better things to do then chase girls and waste precious juice.
I don't think I'll ever settle for porn vs the real thing. My worry is that I am subconsciously objectifying women and that's something they can tell, and maybe why I am having trouble meeting women just as friends (again, despite the fact that I don't watch porn much, but when I do, THAT is the behavior I seem to have). I think that what I said in #1 also impacts #2, and I am wondering how I stop feeling so self-entitled, impatient and stubborn (or some questions I could probe to get closer to the root of the issue).
Thanks everyone. Hope this makes sense lol.
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