HI,
I will try to keep this just to the facts and as brief as possible.DH and I have been married 30 years and together 35. We are both in our late 50's.
5 years ago DH started a new job. His new boss is about 15 years younger and female. Shortly after the new job started we had some issues with our daughter. I called him and asked him to come right home to help deal with an issue (alcohol) and he said he would. 2 hours later he arrives and says he went for a beer and to watch a co worker's band.I check his phone (first time) and see 2 texts from his boss asking him to join her (and others) for a beer- It will be so much fun…come on..) I am annoyed and angry.
Over the next three years he occasionally tells me that he is going to give her my magazines I'm throwing out, asks me to make some handmade soap for her, shares something with her that he has brought back from our vacation. Gives her friend fruit from our garden to make jam with...I object that she will get the wrong impression from this and ask him not to do it. He says I'm silly and he is just showing his appreciation to her for helping him with the computer.
Over the last 9 months I notice he is turning away from the marriage, spending more and more time working and less and less time at home. He seems to be attached to his phone and I here a lot of deleting going on, doesn't leave it out to charge anymore, falls asleep on the couch with it in his hand. I look at his phone again (first time in 4 years) and see many text messages over a month 40 texts and 20 calls between them- some business - others not. Example- We make a good team, you're the best, come back, i'm coming back, see you monday :) , coffee?, call me, sorry i didn't text you right back…nothing overt-Our sexlife had also decreased dramatically. I had no libido but this previously didn't make much difference to the frequency.
I was having some health issues and was becoming less active and somewhat depressed.I had let myself go and become boring and I take full responsibility for that. I fixed the health issue- lost some weight, bought some new clothes, did my hair, started going out with girlfriends.
I asked him if there was someone else he was getting close to? Maybe someone he works with? I asked about her- he says she is not his type- is very overweight- just a child -around 26 years old..has a live in boyfriend
I show him her Facebook page and that she is not really how he described her-She is 40 not 26- He says she looks 26- he said it wasn't her - the name was spelled wrong, I show him her listed job title and he admits its her.I ask him if he knows where she lives? Has he ever been to her house? He swears up and down he has no idea, never been there- eventually he admits he has once, to help her move appliances in the middle of the workday. He says he wasn't lying, because he didn't drive there, because the house was being renovated..he gets mad at me for googling her -says I'm disgusting - accuses me of having an affair, being jealous of her etc. and storms to bed.
The next day he tells her he's taking a day off- but the rest of the conversation is deleted. The day after that she takes a week off, changes her FB profile pic and privacy settings.The only activity on her account in 7 years. He said its just a coincidence-
We go to MC- She says he must be transparent and keep the contact strictly to business.
brb
I will try to keep this just to the facts and as brief as possible.DH and I have been married 30 years and together 35. We are both in our late 50's.
5 years ago DH started a new job. His new boss is about 15 years younger and female. Shortly after the new job started we had some issues with our daughter. I called him and asked him to come right home to help deal with an issue (alcohol) and he said he would. 2 hours later he arrives and says he went for a beer and to watch a co worker's band.I check his phone (first time) and see 2 texts from his boss asking him to join her (and others) for a beer- It will be so much fun…come on..) I am annoyed and angry.
Over the next three years he occasionally tells me that he is going to give her my magazines I'm throwing out, asks me to make some handmade soap for her, shares something with her that he has brought back from our vacation. Gives her friend fruit from our garden to make jam with...I object that she will get the wrong impression from this and ask him not to do it. He says I'm silly and he is just showing his appreciation to her for helping him with the computer.
Over the last 9 months I notice he is turning away from the marriage, spending more and more time working and less and less time at home. He seems to be attached to his phone and I here a lot of deleting going on, doesn't leave it out to charge anymore, falls asleep on the couch with it in his hand. I look at his phone again (first time in 4 years) and see many text messages over a month 40 texts and 20 calls between them- some business - others not. Example- We make a good team, you're the best, come back, i'm coming back, see you monday :) , coffee?, call me, sorry i didn't text you right back…nothing overt-Our sexlife had also decreased dramatically. I had no libido but this previously didn't make much difference to the frequency.
I was having some health issues and was becoming less active and somewhat depressed.I had let myself go and become boring and I take full responsibility for that. I fixed the health issue- lost some weight, bought some new clothes, did my hair, started going out with girlfriends.
I asked him if there was someone else he was getting close to? Maybe someone he works with? I asked about her- he says she is not his type- is very overweight- just a child -around 26 years old..has a live in boyfriend
I show him her Facebook page and that she is not really how he described her-She is 40 not 26- He says she looks 26- he said it wasn't her - the name was spelled wrong, I show him her listed job title and he admits its her.I ask him if he knows where she lives? Has he ever been to her house? He swears up and down he has no idea, never been there- eventually he admits he has once, to help her move appliances in the middle of the workday. He says he wasn't lying, because he didn't drive there, because the house was being renovated..he gets mad at me for googling her -says I'm disgusting - accuses me of having an affair, being jealous of her etc. and storms to bed.
The next day he tells her he's taking a day off- but the rest of the conversation is deleted. The day after that she takes a week off, changes her FB profile pic and privacy settings.The only activity on her account in 7 years. He said its just a coincidence-
We go to MC- She says he must be transparent and keep the contact strictly to business.
brb
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment