I have been with my partner for 10 years of which we have been married for 4 1/2 years. May day bank holiday weekend he said he needed a few days apart as he felt that our relationship was not like it used to be, he said he thought we no longer had the same connection and said it that he's not sure if we've grown too far apart and that he was not sure we could ever reconcile it. This was the first I knew that he was unhappy. We have been having a few issues as he works away a lot and I felt that he was not as committed to me and his family as he usually was and this caused a few heated discussions on the lead up to the May bank holiday but was always resolved.
Whilst he was away he continually texted me, said he was having a good think and constantly upset about how he was treating me and on the Tuesday he said he did love me, did want me forever and could he come home.
Last Thursday was my birthday and he had both the Thursday and Friday off work along with the weekend. We had a brilliant time, he took me out for dinner on the Thursday, spent the day together on the Friday and Saturday and on the Saturday night went out with my parents for a meal, all instigated by him. When we got back Saturday night after a lovely evening I wanted us to go to bed and he started again saying that he wasn't sure things had got any better and didn't know what he wanted. We stayed up chatting, lots of tears, lots of discussions about where it was possibly stemming from and went to bed and made love.
Sunday morning he got up late as we were very late up and I noticed a lots of text notifications from someone on his phone, a girls name whom I didn't recognise. He said she was a girl he was talking to in the bar the weekend he went for some time out and they had kept in touch. He said I couldn't read the texts as there was some comments I didn't need to read because of the place he was in emotionally the previous night. We started talking again and he again said he wasn't sure we could reconcile and get back to me the us that we were. I asked him again who the girl was and was he sure that there was not more to it and finally after a few more attempts he admitted he did have a thing with her. I pushed him some more and then he admitted he met her a few months ago on a work night out and they had been seeing each other but nothing really had happened. He then admitted that when he had been to Amsterdam a few months back with work that he took her with him. I asked him if he loved her and he said he didn't know and was just so confused and how badly he had been treating me.
He then went out of the room and I noticed his iPad, on the side, he had been on when I was in and out of the room. I looked at it and there was a bunch of messages from the same girl that had started the previous evening and had been continuing all of the way through our conversation that morning. He had said he loved her and she asked if he had told me about her like he said he would. It turns out she is married and by the looks of it a lot younger than us. Lots more hurtful messages followed about them being together soon. He said to me should he go and I said that he needed to face me and not be a coward. Eventually he left and said he would be in touch after a few days so that we could talk.
She has today gone on holiday with her husband and a few friends for a couple of weeks, he knows nothing.
Last night and today have been absolute hell. I love him so much and I just wish he would walk in the door and scoop me up and say how much of a mistake he has made. When he left for a few days at the start of the month I did suggest counselling and said I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work and I wouldn't give up on us and on our marriage so easily. I said the same again before he left on Sunday but I'm not sure it's a road he's going to take.
Also I currently don't work as I gave up a good career with a stressful job 2 years ago. We have been trying for a baby and have even had all of the IVF tests. We have not done anything about it in the last 6 months because I said we needed to make more time to try again naturally rather than paying money out and not trying at home due to him being away a lot and the tests showing we should have no reason of conceiving. So not only do I feel that I am losing my soul mate, I have also lost my career and am at home looking after a young dog and a cat
So many things are going on in my head at the moment and I feel like my whole life has been totally turned upside down.
Whilst he was away he continually texted me, said he was having a good think and constantly upset about how he was treating me and on the Tuesday he said he did love me, did want me forever and could he come home.
Last Thursday was my birthday and he had both the Thursday and Friday off work along with the weekend. We had a brilliant time, he took me out for dinner on the Thursday, spent the day together on the Friday and Saturday and on the Saturday night went out with my parents for a meal, all instigated by him. When we got back Saturday night after a lovely evening I wanted us to go to bed and he started again saying that he wasn't sure things had got any better and didn't know what he wanted. We stayed up chatting, lots of tears, lots of discussions about where it was possibly stemming from and went to bed and made love.
Sunday morning he got up late as we were very late up and I noticed a lots of text notifications from someone on his phone, a girls name whom I didn't recognise. He said she was a girl he was talking to in the bar the weekend he went for some time out and they had kept in touch. He said I couldn't read the texts as there was some comments I didn't need to read because of the place he was in emotionally the previous night. We started talking again and he again said he wasn't sure we could reconcile and get back to me the us that we were. I asked him again who the girl was and was he sure that there was not more to it and finally after a few more attempts he admitted he did have a thing with her. I pushed him some more and then he admitted he met her a few months ago on a work night out and they had been seeing each other but nothing really had happened. He then admitted that when he had been to Amsterdam a few months back with work that he took her with him. I asked him if he loved her and he said he didn't know and was just so confused and how badly he had been treating me.
He then went out of the room and I noticed his iPad, on the side, he had been on when I was in and out of the room. I looked at it and there was a bunch of messages from the same girl that had started the previous evening and had been continuing all of the way through our conversation that morning. He had said he loved her and she asked if he had told me about her like he said he would. It turns out she is married and by the looks of it a lot younger than us. Lots more hurtful messages followed about them being together soon. He said to me should he go and I said that he needed to face me and not be a coward. Eventually he left and said he would be in touch after a few days so that we could talk.
She has today gone on holiday with her husband and a few friends for a couple of weeks, he knows nothing.
Last night and today have been absolute hell. I love him so much and I just wish he would walk in the door and scoop me up and say how much of a mistake he has made. When he left for a few days at the start of the month I did suggest counselling and said I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work and I wouldn't give up on us and on our marriage so easily. I said the same again before he left on Sunday but I'm not sure it's a road he's going to take.
Also I currently don't work as I gave up a good career with a stressful job 2 years ago. We have been trying for a baby and have even had all of the IVF tests. We have not done anything about it in the last 6 months because I said we needed to make more time to try again naturally rather than paying money out and not trying at home due to him being away a lot and the tests showing we should have no reason of conceiving. So not only do I feel that I am losing my soul mate, I have also lost my career and am at home looking after a young dog and a cat
So many things are going on in my head at the moment and I feel like my whole life has been totally turned upside down.
Put the internet to work for you.
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