My husband has a potential business trip in a couple months to a location he and I visited a few years ago. we had an amazing time and just as our kids were pretty much grown up, it was an opportunity to really be together as a couple.
8 months and 14 months consecutively after we went, he went again for business but was in a place emotionally that i was not aware of and he cheated both those times on the last night of each 3 day stay. I found this out to begin with 2 years ago, then found out about the 2nd person 1 year ago.
We have gone through all aspects of why and how, and what was going on for him and us during that time. We have been to counselling, read together and never at anytime was it an option for him to leave the marraige. It is not for me either. We are very committed and love each other very much.
That said, I am still dealing with the memories and because he disclosed all I have knowledge of the details. It has been most hurtful that these cheats happened in a place that we had such memorable times in. Now the city doesn't have the same feeling attached to it at all. I have grieved this loss in a big way. Sometimes I just want to be angry at the city (of course it's my husband I'm angry and hurt with).
This will be his last time going for the work related time he has been a part of this project. He has mixed feelings about going back and would just as soon not. We have talked about going together and this is his preference. I am not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand could we go to replace the negative feelings associated with it, or not waste my time and instead do something entirely different to have new memories.
Under the heading of not letting something control the outcome, should I go with my husband and change the outcome and would this somehow help our /my process?
Feeling very torn over what to do?:scratchhead:
8 months and 14 months consecutively after we went, he went again for business but was in a place emotionally that i was not aware of and he cheated both those times on the last night of each 3 day stay. I found this out to begin with 2 years ago, then found out about the 2nd person 1 year ago.
We have gone through all aspects of why and how, and what was going on for him and us during that time. We have been to counselling, read together and never at anytime was it an option for him to leave the marraige. It is not for me either. We are very committed and love each other very much.
That said, I am still dealing with the memories and because he disclosed all I have knowledge of the details. It has been most hurtful that these cheats happened in a place that we had such memorable times in. Now the city doesn't have the same feeling attached to it at all. I have grieved this loss in a big way. Sometimes I just want to be angry at the city (of course it's my husband I'm angry and hurt with).
This will be his last time going for the work related time he has been a part of this project. He has mixed feelings about going back and would just as soon not. We have talked about going together and this is his preference. I am not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand could we go to replace the negative feelings associated with it, or not waste my time and instead do something entirely different to have new memories.
Under the heading of not letting something control the outcome, should I go with my husband and change the outcome and would this somehow help our /my process?
Feeling very torn over what to do?:scratchhead:
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