One of the many complaints by BS's is that waywards just don't seem to "get it" while in an affair, or during R and going through withdrawals of the AP.
I lurk on a board which has WS's and OW/OM's posting on it, and it's really true. Other posters will provide advice, and BS's often provide critical advice (sometimes harsh) in order to be a voice of that wayward's own BS. It surprises me (and doesn't surprise me) how often the WS will say "thanks for opening my eyes" to things we would take as common sense. This includes the selfish actions of the AP, the WS, and the extent of hurt of the BS. Many WS's think that just by "staying" they are doing enough. Clearly, that's never enough, or even close to enough, and will never lead to a true R. They often seem lost, and have no clue how painful it would be if their BS's were reading the very self-absorbed threads they are writing. The "don't judge me" threads if you know what I mean.
I'm writing this for any current BS's lurking on TAM. Through your shock, just remember to spell it all out.
I lurk on a board which has WS's and OW/OM's posting on it, and it's really true. Other posters will provide advice, and BS's often provide critical advice (sometimes harsh) in order to be a voice of that wayward's own BS. It surprises me (and doesn't surprise me) how often the WS will say "thanks for opening my eyes" to things we would take as common sense. This includes the selfish actions of the AP, the WS, and the extent of hurt of the BS. Many WS's think that just by "staying" they are doing enough. Clearly, that's never enough, or even close to enough, and will never lead to a true R. They often seem lost, and have no clue how painful it would be if their BS's were reading the very self-absorbed threads they are writing. The "don't judge me" threads if you know what I mean.
I'm writing this for any current BS's lurking on TAM. Through your shock, just remember to spell it all out.
Put the internet to work for you.
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