Assume you have been dating for four months, and spend pretty much every weekend together, doing things. Not all of these activities are planned way ahead of time, some emerge sporadically. You live far off the grid, so to speak, and teaming up for an outdoor event is a good thing.
Suddenly, your partner decides to go it alone for the weekend day. Pretty much on short notice. You have no chance to make plans of your own, and you feel stuck in place. It has never been an issue spending time alone, I need it, he needs it, we all need it. But this one came out of the left field for me. The day prior, I cancelled my own plans, to accommodate his. He did not communicate the times correctly, so I had plans, then would have tended to ours, and everything would have worked out fine. But his plans for us overlapped with my own. I gave in, and compromised in favor of our time together. It was a good time we had, and I just let him know in passing that in order to spend the time with him, I would have to cancel my own plans. And did it. And off we went.
So, after he returned, I mentioned that perhaps in the future, we could try to coordinate our plans a little bit better. I.e. when he needs time off from us, to let me know some time ahead, so I can have a chance to fill it up with my own stuff. This did not go over well. I am now in the doghouse for even bringing it up. He even compared me to his ex-wife, which I found somewhat offensive. She rained on his parade each time he left her and the kids, to go off on his own.
I am quite hurt that things took this turn. I had hoped for a conversation, and a resolution as to how we could handle this issue better the next time. I truly wish we could have talked. I am not known to be unreasonable, or difficult.
Suddenly, your partner decides to go it alone for the weekend day. Pretty much on short notice. You have no chance to make plans of your own, and you feel stuck in place. It has never been an issue spending time alone, I need it, he needs it, we all need it. But this one came out of the left field for me. The day prior, I cancelled my own plans, to accommodate his. He did not communicate the times correctly, so I had plans, then would have tended to ours, and everything would have worked out fine. But his plans for us overlapped with my own. I gave in, and compromised in favor of our time together. It was a good time we had, and I just let him know in passing that in order to spend the time with him, I would have to cancel my own plans. And did it. And off we went.
So, after he returned, I mentioned that perhaps in the future, we could try to coordinate our plans a little bit better. I.e. when he needs time off from us, to let me know some time ahead, so I can have a chance to fill it up with my own stuff. This did not go over well. I am now in the doghouse for even bringing it up. He even compared me to his ex-wife, which I found somewhat offensive. She rained on his parade each time he left her and the kids, to go off on his own.
I am quite hurt that things took this turn. I had hoped for a conversation, and a resolution as to how we could handle this issue better the next time. I truly wish we could have talked. I am not known to be unreasonable, or difficult.
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