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Was I out of line?

My husband is short tempered and 80% of the time yells as a reaction instead of calmly speaking or explaining. I honestly believe this has resulted in the way our children also react to others, mostly our oldest. A few weeks ago I witnessed him calmly talk down our nephew (8 - tends to break out into serious anger mode when upset) in a way I've never seen him do with our own son/daughter (12/8). I was pleased to see it and at the same time sad. I wish he was this way with his own children. Yesterday we were discussing the situation and I mentioned how I was amazed at the way he calmed our nephew (no one can) and maybe he could try to be that way with our son (daughter not as bad). He flipped out. Said I'm always making him feel guilty for disciplining our children. He believes the way he acts builds character and shows them respect. I guess my question is was I out of line for pointing it out? This is an ongoing battle between us. I'm not as re active and more often than not we disagree on how to raise our children. I've been told over and over again to respect my husband, support him etc. I want to and normally I do but when it comes to "beating down" the children emotionally, I lose the respect.

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