Hello TAM. My divorce was final on June 1, which followed my DDay six months ago. My ex wife was a serial cheater. We're talking Hall of Fame, world class cheater that used hook up sites and business trips, picked up guys in bars, etc.
This stuff was all news to me when I found out but inside I knew the marriage was sick. My instincts were screaming that something was terribly wrong but I ignored them. Probably mostly because of my 4 young kids and the fact that I couldn't have fathomed doing that to somebody.
I am nowhere near better and still trigger all the time. The pain is intense and I have started attending AA because I was turning to alcohol again. My self esteem is still in the tank. Initially I had some success with finding some female company but then there were some dates that fizzled out I think because I was honest about my situation and the women viewed me as too screwed up.
Infidelity has screwed me up. I think the serial cheating is even worse and I know way too many details. This has been a total mind f@@k.
I just don't want to be the bitter angry guy any longer. I feel like there is a dark cloud around me that everyone can see a mile away. There are men in my company that are well meaning religious types that were encouraging me not to divorce even with the adultery. It was so painful to listen to that because divorce was never what I wanted but I could not tolerate how disrespectful my ex-wife's conduct was. She has no moral compass to do the stuff she did. I've racked my brain trying to understand it.
I pray, I exercise, I try to socialize but a lot of the joy is gone from my life.
Just really praying that this won't last for too much longer because I don't like the person I am right now. At first I thought I was getting much stronger but now I'm not so sure.
This stuff was all news to me when I found out but inside I knew the marriage was sick. My instincts were screaming that something was terribly wrong but I ignored them. Probably mostly because of my 4 young kids and the fact that I couldn't have fathomed doing that to somebody.
I am nowhere near better and still trigger all the time. The pain is intense and I have started attending AA because I was turning to alcohol again. My self esteem is still in the tank. Initially I had some success with finding some female company but then there were some dates that fizzled out I think because I was honest about my situation and the women viewed me as too screwed up.
Infidelity has screwed me up. I think the serial cheating is even worse and I know way too many details. This has been a total mind f@@k.
I just don't want to be the bitter angry guy any longer. I feel like there is a dark cloud around me that everyone can see a mile away. There are men in my company that are well meaning religious types that were encouraging me not to divorce even with the adultery. It was so painful to listen to that because divorce was never what I wanted but I could not tolerate how disrespectful my ex-wife's conduct was. She has no moral compass to do the stuff she did. I've racked my brain trying to understand it.
I pray, I exercise, I try to socialize but a lot of the joy is gone from my life.
Just really praying that this won't last for too much longer because I don't like the person I am right now. At first I thought I was getting much stronger but now I'm not so sure.
Put the internet to work for you.
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