Since I completely thread jacked my own thread and was unpardonably rude to @technovelist (my apologies, you were right, I completely misread your post) , I wanted to go back to what makes a marriage good. I swear I must have been in a horrid mood that morning I posted In a couple of threads where I was an ass....I'm usually kinder than I have been here. Honest! :grin2:
Obviously communication is a big thing. Most of us who have been married for a while know that communication is tricky because as women and men or even same sex couples, we are all different as human beings. Opposites attract and all that...what have been some of your biggest hurdles in this area?
I know for me....I sometimes hear what I most fear instead of what he is saying. For example....I was abandoned as a child so everything he says sounds like he is abandoning me when he is upset with me. Plenty of therapy and learning how to deal with some of my childhood issues have helped tremendously. He is very patient with me and I'm learning to accept that not all people leave. There are scores of stories like this from longer term marrieds....maybe it would be helpful if we shared. Also, I apologize to everyone I offended by being an ass on my other thread and thank @Ele for closing it. :)
Obviously communication is a big thing. Most of us who have been married for a while know that communication is tricky because as women and men or even same sex couples, we are all different as human beings. Opposites attract and all that...what have been some of your biggest hurdles in this area?
I know for me....I sometimes hear what I most fear instead of what he is saying. For example....I was abandoned as a child so everything he says sounds like he is abandoning me when he is upset with me. Plenty of therapy and learning how to deal with some of my childhood issues have helped tremendously. He is very patient with me and I'm learning to accept that not all people leave. There are scores of stories like this from longer term marrieds....maybe it would be helpful if we shared. Also, I apologize to everyone I offended by being an ass on my other thread and thank @Ele for closing it. :)
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