Hello! My husband and I have been together for about a decade now (we got together when we were young), and married for almost 5. We have no children of our own, but we currently care for his teen sister since the death of their mother nearly a year ago.
I'm going to try to shorten this as much as possible - my husband has grown more passive aggressive this past year or so. Last year was very hard on us, both our mothers passed unexpectedly at a very young age, and we had to get a larger house to accommodate his sister moving into our care. At the same time, he got a local truck driving job (he had been OTR for a year at this point), so he could be with both our families.
Although I have always been the "hotter" partner, once he came back from OTR, it's like he couldn't stand to be home anymore. He HAD to be doing something constantly, whether it be a project or hanging with his friends (who I have known for years and are close to myself). However, during these times, he would make it known that he needed space to himself.
I understand that the past year has been difficult, but I'm just growing more and more numb to his absence. It's like I'm purposefully shutting down my feelings in order to be able to cope and go on with my day to day work. He responds very negatively to any "warm/hot" behavior, so about a month ago, I practically turned the thermostat off. I stopped calling him at work, I don't tell him I love him unless he says it first, and I don't ask to spend any time with him at all. I keep myself busy with my work and have been going out with my friends much more.
As a result, he seems to be super confused, but is either to prideful or afraid to ask me what's going on. He's started calling me every once in a while during the day, and telling me he loves me, and even taking the time to kiss me bye before leaving (which he had stopped entirely). He even ask for me to come upstairs when he gets home to spend time with him for a bit, chatting while he eats before he goes to bed.
Because my husband has super passive aggressive tendencies (he's VERY uncomfortable with intimacy and anything touchy feely, HAS to control how often we have sex and he ALWAYS has to be right about things), I feel like we're in a tug of war. So here's my question:
Do I just stay the course? Continue with what I'm doing? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a passive aggressive spouse like this?
I'm going to try to shorten this as much as possible - my husband has grown more passive aggressive this past year or so. Last year was very hard on us, both our mothers passed unexpectedly at a very young age, and we had to get a larger house to accommodate his sister moving into our care. At the same time, he got a local truck driving job (he had been OTR for a year at this point), so he could be with both our families.
Although I have always been the "hotter" partner, once he came back from OTR, it's like he couldn't stand to be home anymore. He HAD to be doing something constantly, whether it be a project or hanging with his friends (who I have known for years and are close to myself). However, during these times, he would make it known that he needed space to himself.
I understand that the past year has been difficult, but I'm just growing more and more numb to his absence. It's like I'm purposefully shutting down my feelings in order to be able to cope and go on with my day to day work. He responds very negatively to any "warm/hot" behavior, so about a month ago, I practically turned the thermostat off. I stopped calling him at work, I don't tell him I love him unless he says it first, and I don't ask to spend any time with him at all. I keep myself busy with my work and have been going out with my friends much more.
As a result, he seems to be super confused, but is either to prideful or afraid to ask me what's going on. He's started calling me every once in a while during the day, and telling me he loves me, and even taking the time to kiss me bye before leaving (which he had stopped entirely). He even ask for me to come upstairs when he gets home to spend time with him for a bit, chatting while he eats before he goes to bed.
Because my husband has super passive aggressive tendencies (he's VERY uncomfortable with intimacy and anything touchy feely, HAS to control how often we have sex and he ALWAYS has to be right about things), I feel like we're in a tug of war. So here's my question:
Do I just stay the course? Continue with what I'm doing? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a passive aggressive spouse like this?
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