In my experience and hearing from others, one of the ways in which men and women seem to miscommunicate is when women have something that's bothering them and want to talk about it. She wants to talk about her feelings around it and he wants to solve the problem that created the feelings, which ends up making her feel like she isn't being heard and him feel unappreciated. On another forum I found a great description and explanation of this phenomenon:
"Women often discuss how a problem made them feel. This is a normal thing that many women would consider as important as finding a way to end the problem itself. For many women, discussing how the problem made them feel is something that continues to be important after a solution has been found and implemented. If no one close to them discusses how they felt going through the problem, those feelings are difficult to get past.
Men are not often like this. Many men approach problems in a way that they seek a way to end the problem as quickly as possible. If the boss comes to a male employee with a problem to solve, he will begin to explain the problem and at a certain point the male employee will feel that he has enough information to suggest a solution. At that point the solution is implemented as quickly as possible. This is the way men are conditioned to approach problems. The discussion about how the problem makes you feel is a distraction from the problem and it is irrelevant after the solution has been found and implemented.
What often happens in relationships between men and women is problems that are not fully resolved because the way men and women approach the problem causes arguments that end up with the woman saying that the man never listens to her. She is correct, don't get me wrong here. To her the problem is how something made her feel. To him, the problem is the thing that caused that emotional response. He will constantly be ignoring her problem because he is trying to find a solution as quickly as possible to a problem that she probably already figured out before even talking to him about it."
"Women often discuss how a problem made them feel. This is a normal thing that many women would consider as important as finding a way to end the problem itself. For many women, discussing how the problem made them feel is something that continues to be important after a solution has been found and implemented. If no one close to them discusses how they felt going through the problem, those feelings are difficult to get past.
Men are not often like this. Many men approach problems in a way that they seek a way to end the problem as quickly as possible. If the boss comes to a male employee with a problem to solve, he will begin to explain the problem and at a certain point the male employee will feel that he has enough information to suggest a solution. At that point the solution is implemented as quickly as possible. This is the way men are conditioned to approach problems. The discussion about how the problem makes you feel is a distraction from the problem and it is irrelevant after the solution has been found and implemented.
What often happens in relationships between men and women is problems that are not fully resolved because the way men and women approach the problem causes arguments that end up with the woman saying that the man never listens to her. She is correct, don't get me wrong here. To her the problem is how something made her feel. To him, the problem is the thing that caused that emotional response. He will constantly be ignoring her problem because he is trying to find a solution as quickly as possible to a problem that she probably already figured out before even talking to him about it."
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