Hey,
I didn't mean to write so much when I started! Below is a story with a tl;dr for people with busy lives to lead.
SO
About two years ago I met a girl in the summer after my GCSEs; she wasn't my idea of perfection after a fruitless 5-year long crush at high school on an athletic blond stunner. However, after a few days in her presence, my idea of perfection was redefined. Her personality made my world a better place, and I found her to be physically beautiful too. Neither of us had any real dating experience. We went to different high-schools and sixth-forms, but by December 2013 I had been on a few decent dates with her (hot chocolates and parks and Christmas markets) but neither of us had mentioned taking anything anywhere.
At the end of a fantastic night of European markets, I asked for a word with her and explained that I really liked her and made it clear that it was totally cool to not reciprocate the feelings and asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend, she said yes, she was smiling a lot and we hugged in the train station for a good 10 minutes. I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot the while way home and told my family and that was honestly the best I've felt in my life so far. We met up at a café a week later to exchange Christmas presents, but she seemed distant and didn't wait long to leave. I didn't realise that would be the last time I'd meet her. For a month after that, she didn't communicate with me once in any way, and I slowly realised where it was going. I switched from being on top of the world, happy and fulfilled, to being cold, depressed and short-tempered with family and friends alike over the Christmas break, and frequently disappeared into my room to cry into the pillow. Halfway into January, I got a short text when I was at work that we'd be better as friends. Never spoken again.
I used to have very long phone calls and talks with friends and talk about emotional things in our lives; since that Christmas the talks stopped, they said I had become quite emotionless and cold. I still loved her by June 2014, when it turns out my friends were worried I was seriously depressed; I consider myself to be very mentally robust, so this perception scared me, so I resolved to get over it and improve. By the end of the summer I had distracted myself with a couple of crushes on girls I met and had her mostly out of my mind, 8 months after it went bad.
TL;DR - last time it ended with rejection/breakup, I became an emotional recluse for 8 months and relationships with friends and family deteriorated.
ANYWAY, another year is nearly gone, and there's a girl I know from college who I think is great and we get along well. She's beautiful, funny, caring, and brings positivity to the room without trying. I've been to a couple of parties with her and her house and we're going to a concert. She's kind of flirty but it's hard to tell if anything is meant by it. I want to tell her I like her and have a go at dating, she's worth taking a risk for. However, I'm worried that I'll react to a rejection just like last time and end up shut-down again as I'm starting uni. Any tips on how to take rejection better and be more resilient? Should I go with this and have a go or leave it and not risk getting hurt? Any advice welcome!
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