Hello,
The topic of a trial separation has been brought up in my marriage. Me and my wife are 34 and 35 and have been married for 13 years. We have had a good marriage and have gotten along really well for most of the marriage
We have two children that we both love dearly. The separation has just been brought up because lately things have changed...I have suffered from depression and been on meds for the last 4 years, I own my own business and sometimes that can be very stressful.
Our finances have always been up and down because of my line of work and can take a toll on things, My wife works and has slowly moved up the chain over the years and now is at a small family company making good money. That has created one of our problems... she used to have so much respect for me but now I feel she thinks of me as a failure...
On to our problem.... Right after Christmas I finally came out and asked her what is wrong with us and what is going on. I have recently suspected her of cheating. She has started taking better care of herself, dressing different and so on.
In our talk she told me she hasn't been happy for the last 2 years and I have changed... I have let myself go, gained some wait and never want to do anything. We haven't had sex but twice in the last two years and I have never pressed her on it because I thought it was something she was going through physically.
Another topic during this conversation was my job and how I don't provide.... I made a promise to her that I would make changes. She never has asked me to go out (bars etc) other than when we see movies together or whatever, were always busy with our kids. After all of this went down I had made effort and began to change but still had a feeling something wasn't right.
Her phone has went from being charged out in the open to now is charged next to her in bed... She now has a passcode and carries the phone with her wherever she is in the house.
One day I paid attention to her passcode and later that night grabbed her phone and checked it out.... finding conversations with a guy at work that had been going on for the last 3 months... I have no problem with her having friends at work but these texts went over the line.
I kept this to myself and on our second discussion I asked if there was someone else and all I wanted was her honesty... she denied, finally after 2 weeks of my sleepless nights and nerves I asked her about it. She finally admitted and said it was nothing, it made her feel good about herself.... She said she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore.
When reading the texts, the way I took it was nothing had happened yet outside of texting.... but she wanted more, the guy was either playing stupid, or was not interested.
After all of this we finally have sorted it out and now she thinks the beast thing to do is me to move out and work on me....She said basically like we would go back to dating and I would get an apartment close to home so I was still involved.
So now in my mind.... one side tells me this is her easy way out, and the other is she want me back the way I was before my depression and that I need to work on myself.
What do I do????
The topic of a trial separation has been brought up in my marriage. Me and my wife are 34 and 35 and have been married for 13 years. We have had a good marriage and have gotten along really well for most of the marriage
We have two children that we both love dearly. The separation has just been brought up because lately things have changed...I have suffered from depression and been on meds for the last 4 years, I own my own business and sometimes that can be very stressful.
Our finances have always been up and down because of my line of work and can take a toll on things, My wife works and has slowly moved up the chain over the years and now is at a small family company making good money. That has created one of our problems... she used to have so much respect for me but now I feel she thinks of me as a failure...
On to our problem.... Right after Christmas I finally came out and asked her what is wrong with us and what is going on. I have recently suspected her of cheating. She has started taking better care of herself, dressing different and so on.
In our talk she told me she hasn't been happy for the last 2 years and I have changed... I have let myself go, gained some wait and never want to do anything. We haven't had sex but twice in the last two years and I have never pressed her on it because I thought it was something she was going through physically.
Another topic during this conversation was my job and how I don't provide.... I made a promise to her that I would make changes. She never has asked me to go out (bars etc) other than when we see movies together or whatever, were always busy with our kids. After all of this went down I had made effort and began to change but still had a feeling something wasn't right.
Her phone has went from being charged out in the open to now is charged next to her in bed... She now has a passcode and carries the phone with her wherever she is in the house.
One day I paid attention to her passcode and later that night grabbed her phone and checked it out.... finding conversations with a guy at work that had been going on for the last 3 months... I have no problem with her having friends at work but these texts went over the line.
I kept this to myself and on our second discussion I asked if there was someone else and all I wanted was her honesty... she denied, finally after 2 weeks of my sleepless nights and nerves I asked her about it. She finally admitted and said it was nothing, it made her feel good about herself.... She said she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore.
When reading the texts, the way I took it was nothing had happened yet outside of texting.... but she wanted more, the guy was either playing stupid, or was not interested.
After all of this we finally have sorted it out and now she thinks the beast thing to do is me to move out and work on me....She said basically like we would go back to dating and I would get an apartment close to home so I was still involved.
So now in my mind.... one side tells me this is her easy way out, and the other is she want me back the way I was before my depression and that I need to work on myself.
What do I do????
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