For sake that my soon to be ex may come here I will introduce myself as "icbw".
I've been a long time lurker absorbing A LOT of advice from fellow members here and need the support of everyone here more than I thought I ever would. I'm really sorry for the long post, but here's my story; I'm 29 and my Wife is 31 and we have had no sex or intimacy in the last 2-3 months. Before we were married sex was 2-3 times per week, sometimes multiple times per day. BJ's, HJ's, and makeout sessions were the norm. After she got the ring on the finger that went away. It started our wedding night actually, she started her period and we didn't consummate the marriage for about 4 months. We have talked, went to marriage counseling, and argued over this time and time again. She always says she will try to be more intimate and she would always say "well I was going to come at you for sex tonight, but you brought this up...." Yet another way to get out of it. She uses headaches, stress, taking care of her parents, just not in the mood, sometime she ate didn't settl e well, etc. You name it, she has said it.
The latest discussion about 1 week ago was that I'm not supportive enough to her. I am a Network Architect and work 10-12 hours per day but do have weekends off. I am on call 24/7 for 1 solid week every 8 weeks (sorry if that's confusion, lol). I bring home over 6 figures per year, hired someone for yard work since I don't have time and she doesn't like to do it and has a bad back so I didn't want to ask her to do that. She hates cleaning, so I hired a maid to clean the house. She essentially made it clear that she wants me to takeover the remainder of the housework (what little there is) since she is taking care of her parents who really need to be in a retirement home (not trying to be mean). I immediately changed and started doing more like she asked that following day. Here we are 1 week later and she said that it's only been 1 week, she needs time to adjust to the changes. I told her that I'm giving it 1 month and we are either opening the marriage or I'm filing for divorce. I went and spoke with an attorney and he believes that I would only end up paying spousal support if needed. She has a 4 year degree but only makes 23k per year. She had an EA at her current job about 3 years ago and she refuses to leave even though everything is "over" with this other guy. She told me he went to another location to work but never told me he came back to work there. I found out myself from a friend that also works there. I'm 99% sure she will not leave because of him but I cannot find any evidence of anything going on any longer. She complains about how much she makes but will not find another job that makes more. I'm done feeling like this and will NOT continue feeling this way as I just turned 29 and want to enter my 30's with a clean slate.
Sorry for the long first post but thanks for reading and any thoughts you might have.
I've been a long time lurker absorbing A LOT of advice from fellow members here and need the support of everyone here more than I thought I ever would. I'm really sorry for the long post, but here's my story; I'm 29 and my Wife is 31 and we have had no sex or intimacy in the last 2-3 months. Before we were married sex was 2-3 times per week, sometimes multiple times per day. BJ's, HJ's, and makeout sessions were the norm. After she got the ring on the finger that went away. It started our wedding night actually, she started her period and we didn't consummate the marriage for about 4 months. We have talked, went to marriage counseling, and argued over this time and time again. She always says she will try to be more intimate and she would always say "well I was going to come at you for sex tonight, but you brought this up...." Yet another way to get out of it. She uses headaches, stress, taking care of her parents, just not in the mood, sometime she ate didn't settl e well, etc. You name it, she has said it.
The latest discussion about 1 week ago was that I'm not supportive enough to her. I am a Network Architect and work 10-12 hours per day but do have weekends off. I am on call 24/7 for 1 solid week every 8 weeks (sorry if that's confusion, lol). I bring home over 6 figures per year, hired someone for yard work since I don't have time and she doesn't like to do it and has a bad back so I didn't want to ask her to do that. She hates cleaning, so I hired a maid to clean the house. She essentially made it clear that she wants me to takeover the remainder of the housework (what little there is) since she is taking care of her parents who really need to be in a retirement home (not trying to be mean). I immediately changed and started doing more like she asked that following day. Here we are 1 week later and she said that it's only been 1 week, she needs time to adjust to the changes. I told her that I'm giving it 1 month and we are either opening the marriage or I'm filing for divorce. I went and spoke with an attorney and he believes that I would only end up paying spousal support if needed. She has a 4 year degree but only makes 23k per year. She had an EA at her current job about 3 years ago and she refuses to leave even though everything is "over" with this other guy. She told me he went to another location to work but never told me he came back to work there. I found out myself from a friend that also works there. I'm 99% sure she will not leave because of him but I cannot find any evidence of anything going on any longer. She complains about how much she makes but will not find another job that makes more. I'm done feeling like this and will NOT continue feeling this way as I just turned 29 and want to enter my 30's with a clean slate.
Sorry for the long first post but thanks for reading and any thoughts you might have.
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