Many years ago, I had a close brush with the end of my marriage. Through a lot (LOT) of soul-searching, counseling, growth, and time, my wife and I managed to pull the plane out of it's nose-dive and grow back together. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my 59 years on this planet.
One event from long ago keeps coming back at me though. It's like the water keeps circling to flow once again under the bridge. I had yet one more argument tonight with my wife about it. Usually, when the topic arrises, I short-sheet it; I try to get past it and try to put it back into the past where it belongs.
Once, maybe 10 years, I questioned my wife with apparent disgust about the truthfulness of her statement that she used to make more money than I did. I don't even remember making that statement, but the fact that I frequently get reminded that I said it whenever our financial history comes up is like a poke in the eye as it, along with the whole nasty state of our relationship back then come roaring back to life.
I don't dispute that my wife made more money than I did 30 years ago - I don't even care and can't understand why this sore spot still exists. What's the big deal here? Her financial prowess back then was in no way a threat to my masculinity - at least as I remember it now.
I've acknowledged her greater financial contribution - apologized for the things I said but don't remember - asked her to stop reminding me of something that is long dead - but this thing just won't die.
Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
One event from long ago keeps coming back at me though. It's like the water keeps circling to flow once again under the bridge. I had yet one more argument tonight with my wife about it. Usually, when the topic arrises, I short-sheet it; I try to get past it and try to put it back into the past where it belongs.
Once, maybe 10 years, I questioned my wife with apparent disgust about the truthfulness of her statement that she used to make more money than I did. I don't even remember making that statement, but the fact that I frequently get reminded that I said it whenever our financial history comes up is like a poke in the eye as it, along with the whole nasty state of our relationship back then come roaring back to life.
I don't dispute that my wife made more money than I did 30 years ago - I don't even care and can't understand why this sore spot still exists. What's the big deal here? Her financial prowess back then was in no way a threat to my masculinity - at least as I remember it now.
I've acknowledged her greater financial contribution - apologized for the things I said but don't remember - asked her to stop reminding me of something that is long dead - but this thing just won't die.
Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
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