Hello everyone. I hope everyone is doing well today. I wanted to get my peers opinion on something.
Are you guys or have you ever been jealous of other couples?
A little back story. My and my fh are in our late 20's. We been together for 3 years, lived together for one and been engaged for 8 months. We hit a rough patch in the middle but we are working on it and slowly but surely things are getting better. We are both in school so we decided not to actually get married till I graduate in 2016. We want to save money for the wedding but we also really want to put a down payment on a house.
When we started dating we knew this other couple who had been together for 3 years and were about to get married and a second couple who had been together for 2 years. The first couple got married, the second couple got engaged and a year later got married.
After these couples got married it seemed like they got closer together and we kind of got pushed out of the group somewhat. It seems like the other couples well mainly the girls don't take us as seriously since we are "only engaged". Things like "well if you guys are still together", or if "you guys ever actually get married get" are thrown around a lot. My fh says that they don't mean any harm by it and they just say it without thinking it and its prob true but it is still hurtful.
I am very pleased with the progress that our relationship has made but sometimes I am just a little jealous of them. I mean I understand that we chose careers where we are still in school. Couple #1 has decent jobs but not careers. Couple#2 has healthcare jobs, make decent money. FH has a good job but he is still in school too and with me in school we do ok but def not like go on vacation every couple of months. Couple#2 is now preg.
The other two couples go on vacations together a lot. Most of the time they no longer invite us but if they did we prob would not go because we really want to put a down payment on the house in 2 years.
I guess sometimes I get a little sad because they have moved on with their lives where it seems like we are exactly where we were 3 years ago. We are engaged but we are not getting married for 2 more years, I still have 2 years till I can get a good job, we prob can't have kids for 4 years. It just brings me down. FH just says to think about the future and how happy we will be and that is all good but I still can't help it! I guess girls care a lot more about this stuff them men.
the girl in couple#2 is very vocal on FB and is always posting stuff like "hanging out with our married friends", "being married is the best" best one though that she posted today "people don't understand love till they are married" (WTF??) She post a wedding anniversary status every month! We get it you have been married for 9 months today!! I was there. I know I just sound bitter but mostly I am just annoyed. I just think that being married for 9 months is not an achievement and does not automatically give you a right to give me unwanted advice on how to get my fh walk down the aisle sooner even though I have told you multiple times that it was my decision (along with my parents) not to have the wedding till I graduated.
I also find the girl in couple#2 because she makes comments about my engagement ring a lot. One time she said it that diamond was too small, 2nd time she said the ring was too light (after she made me switch rings with her), she tried to find out how much it costs. She told me how her ring costs more than a car I mean ok that is very nice but what am I suppose to do with that information? One time we were talking about travel insurance and she said that she always gets it because she ring is so expensive but we should not bother?!?!? I know these comments should not bother me because it is actually really pretty and I really do honestly love it and treasure it. I know he worked really hard to save money to buy it. Personally I think we are in a better position anyway because my ring did cost more then 3 months worth of salary and it is all paid for! While they are still paying for their 22000$ ring (she mentioned the price the same day I got engaged)
Personally before I met these women I did not put a lot of stalk in marriage. I still don't think I put a lot of stalk in marriage I think I just kind of want to have a wedding. I still think that marriage is just a piece of paper. You don't need it express love to your S.O. You can be just in love if you are not married. It is not like gov't gives you a piece of paper declaring you husband and wife and now you suddenly love each other more. None of us are religious so it is not like there is a religious component to being married infront of God. All of us lived with our S.O before marriage. I just think that today being married would not change a whole lot. We live together, have a joint account, don't make financial decisions without each other. Planning on buying a house together.
Top it off our wedding will be really small. We are keeping our budget really small compared to the other two couples who def went in debt to pay for their weddings. We both agreed that well I'll have enough student loans as it is so we would not go into more debt for the wedding. It still brings me down though.
Do you guys think I am being a baby? I mean we are in late 20's, I should know better then to be so materialistic but sometimes I can't help it. Gosh I sound bi-polar to myself.
Are you guys or have you ever been jealous of other couples?
A little back story. My and my fh are in our late 20's. We been together for 3 years, lived together for one and been engaged for 8 months. We hit a rough patch in the middle but we are working on it and slowly but surely things are getting better. We are both in school so we decided not to actually get married till I graduate in 2016. We want to save money for the wedding but we also really want to put a down payment on a house.
When we started dating we knew this other couple who had been together for 3 years and were about to get married and a second couple who had been together for 2 years. The first couple got married, the second couple got engaged and a year later got married.
After these couples got married it seemed like they got closer together and we kind of got pushed out of the group somewhat. It seems like the other couples well mainly the girls don't take us as seriously since we are "only engaged". Things like "well if you guys are still together", or if "you guys ever actually get married get" are thrown around a lot. My fh says that they don't mean any harm by it and they just say it without thinking it and its prob true but it is still hurtful.
I am very pleased with the progress that our relationship has made but sometimes I am just a little jealous of them. I mean I understand that we chose careers where we are still in school. Couple #1 has decent jobs but not careers. Couple#2 has healthcare jobs, make decent money. FH has a good job but he is still in school too and with me in school we do ok but def not like go on vacation every couple of months. Couple#2 is now preg.
The other two couples go on vacations together a lot. Most of the time they no longer invite us but if they did we prob would not go because we really want to put a down payment on the house in 2 years.
I guess sometimes I get a little sad because they have moved on with their lives where it seems like we are exactly where we were 3 years ago. We are engaged but we are not getting married for 2 more years, I still have 2 years till I can get a good job, we prob can't have kids for 4 years. It just brings me down. FH just says to think about the future and how happy we will be and that is all good but I still can't help it! I guess girls care a lot more about this stuff them men.
the girl in couple#2 is very vocal on FB and is always posting stuff like "hanging out with our married friends", "being married is the best" best one though that she posted today "people don't understand love till they are married" (WTF??) She post a wedding anniversary status every month! We get it you have been married for 9 months today!! I was there. I know I just sound bitter but mostly I am just annoyed. I just think that being married for 9 months is not an achievement and does not automatically give you a right to give me unwanted advice on how to get my fh walk down the aisle sooner even though I have told you multiple times that it was my decision (along with my parents) not to have the wedding till I graduated.
I also find the girl in couple#2 because she makes comments about my engagement ring a lot. One time she said it that diamond was too small, 2nd time she said the ring was too light (after she made me switch rings with her), she tried to find out how much it costs. She told me how her ring costs more than a car I mean ok that is very nice but what am I suppose to do with that information? One time we were talking about travel insurance and she said that she always gets it because she ring is so expensive but we should not bother?!?!? I know these comments should not bother me because it is actually really pretty and I really do honestly love it and treasure it. I know he worked really hard to save money to buy it. Personally I think we are in a better position anyway because my ring did cost more then 3 months worth of salary and it is all paid for! While they are still paying for their 22000$ ring (she mentioned the price the same day I got engaged)
Personally before I met these women I did not put a lot of stalk in marriage. I still don't think I put a lot of stalk in marriage I think I just kind of want to have a wedding. I still think that marriage is just a piece of paper. You don't need it express love to your S.O. You can be just in love if you are not married. It is not like gov't gives you a piece of paper declaring you husband and wife and now you suddenly love each other more. None of us are religious so it is not like there is a religious component to being married infront of God. All of us lived with our S.O before marriage. I just think that today being married would not change a whole lot. We live together, have a joint account, don't make financial decisions without each other. Planning on buying a house together.
Top it off our wedding will be really small. We are keeping our budget really small compared to the other two couples who def went in debt to pay for their weddings. We both agreed that well I'll have enough student loans as it is so we would not go into more debt for the wedding. It still brings me down though.
Do you guys think I am being a baby? I mean we are in late 20's, I should know better then to be so materialistic but sometimes I can't help it. Gosh I sound bi-polar to myself.
Put the internet to work for you.
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