Please don't judge me if that's even possible...I wrote on this forum many times to get help, or at least to vent when my feelings were killing me just like now.
OM came to my town after one year. We always talked on FB as friends, but when we met, we kissed again. I spent some time with him. We cuddled and talked. I was simply happy, however, with each meeting, I felt more and more how I should not be doing that. I told him that what I do is wrong and it is very unfair to my husband and him. He told me that we can stop and I should not be doing something I feel so wrong about.
I wanted to tell him about my feelings for so long, and now when I finally did, I feel very much lost. I want to let go, but at the same time, I feel like I can't be without him neither. I do have strong feelings for him.
I also realized that I wanted to save him. From the first moment I met him, I felt this weird need to help him because of his bad health condition.
I honestly don't know what I am doing anymore. I am trying to find out why I am behaving the way I do with men. My counselor said it's because of absence of my father and his alcoholism; unmet needs in my marriage. I don't know...
How do I let finally go? I want OM to be happy. I want to stop walking on a wrong path, and don't want to be this bad and selfish person anymore. My husband does not deserve it and never did. None of them really do. I am such a mess. I wish I would never start my affair, but ended my marriage before a new relationship. It is too late for that. Everything seems so hopeless now...
OM came to my town after one year. We always talked on FB as friends, but when we met, we kissed again. I spent some time with him. We cuddled and talked. I was simply happy, however, with each meeting, I felt more and more how I should not be doing that. I told him that what I do is wrong and it is very unfair to my husband and him. He told me that we can stop and I should not be doing something I feel so wrong about.
I wanted to tell him about my feelings for so long, and now when I finally did, I feel very much lost. I want to let go, but at the same time, I feel like I can't be without him neither. I do have strong feelings for him.
I also realized that I wanted to save him. From the first moment I met him, I felt this weird need to help him because of his bad health condition.
I honestly don't know what I am doing anymore. I am trying to find out why I am behaving the way I do with men. My counselor said it's because of absence of my father and his alcoholism; unmet needs in my marriage. I don't know...
How do I let finally go? I want OM to be happy. I want to stop walking on a wrong path, and don't want to be this bad and selfish person anymore. My husband does not deserve it and never did. None of them really do. I am such a mess. I wish I would never start my affair, but ended my marriage before a new relationship. It is too late for that. Everything seems so hopeless now...
Put the internet to work for you.
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