Hello everyone. I am having trouble with insecurities and would just like to know if I'm normal or a total nut job.
Here is a little history. About 4 years ago I had an online EA. I wasn't feeling appreciated or special in my marriage at the time, but what I did was absolutely 100% my fault. There was no sexting or pictures, but I admit that my EA partner told me that i was different from other women and special and I fell for it. I stopped and recommitted 100% to my marriage and I thought things were back on track, only to then notice my husband becoming more distant, hiding his phone, and being very quick to anger. I checked his email and found he was having what I am not completely sure was not a PA, but at least an EA. He was telling her how great she was and how good they were for each other. I am 95% sure that it never went PA, but they were making plans to meet at that time. We separated for a few weeks and then reconciled. We have been working very hard the past year and are in a much better spot now. He lets me know where he is at all times and never hides his phone now, but I still have so many insecurities.
What makes me think I am crazy is we have been married for over 20 years and something he said when we were dating is haunting me. We were talking about his old girlfriend and he told me they had a special bond and he knew if there was something wrong with her even when she wasn't around and he was upset that he would never have a relationship like that again. It bothered me a little at the time, but we weren't even thinking marriage at the time so I let it go. But now that I read all the compliments he was giving his online EA and how he told her they were so good for each other and that he loved her, it really bothers me that he has never once said I was special or that what we have is better than anything he had before.
It further confuses me that if I can just go by his actions now, he loves me very much. He comes straight home from work and wants to spend every free minute together, holds my hand everywhere we go and wants to give me everything he can. How can I his words be so sweet to someone he never met, but not to someone he spent most of his life with and seems very happy now? How can I get past his words and focus on how he treats me now?
Here is a little history. About 4 years ago I had an online EA. I wasn't feeling appreciated or special in my marriage at the time, but what I did was absolutely 100% my fault. There was no sexting or pictures, but I admit that my EA partner told me that i was different from other women and special and I fell for it. I stopped and recommitted 100% to my marriage and I thought things were back on track, only to then notice my husband becoming more distant, hiding his phone, and being very quick to anger. I checked his email and found he was having what I am not completely sure was not a PA, but at least an EA. He was telling her how great she was and how good they were for each other. I am 95% sure that it never went PA, but they were making plans to meet at that time. We separated for a few weeks and then reconciled. We have been working very hard the past year and are in a much better spot now. He lets me know where he is at all times and never hides his phone now, but I still have so many insecurities.
What makes me think I am crazy is we have been married for over 20 years and something he said when we were dating is haunting me. We were talking about his old girlfriend and he told me they had a special bond and he knew if there was something wrong with her even when she wasn't around and he was upset that he would never have a relationship like that again. It bothered me a little at the time, but we weren't even thinking marriage at the time so I let it go. But now that I read all the compliments he was giving his online EA and how he told her they were so good for each other and that he loved her, it really bothers me that he has never once said I was special or that what we have is better than anything he had before.
It further confuses me that if I can just go by his actions now, he loves me very much. He comes straight home from work and wants to spend every free minute together, holds my hand everywhere we go and wants to give me everything he can. How can I his words be so sweet to someone he never met, but not to someone he spent most of his life with and seems very happy now? How can I get past his words and focus on how he treats me now?
Put the internet to work for you.
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