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Therapist says a good marriage involves work, but not "thatttt much" work

My therapist is amazing in many ways. I love her to pieces. I am getting ready to go through a divorce. My husband is an immature spouse and parent. We no longer connect at all. When I first went to her, she asked if I thought my marriage was reparable. I said I wasn't sure, so we delved into it. After some time and lots of thinking, I realized that even attempting repair of my marriage with a spouse who feels nothing is his fault is unrealistic. Then she made a comment that surprised me: "Marriage takes work of course. But not thatttt much work. If it feels like all you do is work on your marriage, quite frankly, you're in the wrong marriage."

I am not sure how I feel about this. What do all you long-term people think? I know my current marriage is over. And I have no interest in finding anyone anytime soon; I want to work on myself and focus on my kids for at least a couple years. But then I do hope to find someone to whom I connect easily. All relationships have "stuff" but is it possible for them to come naturally between two people?

IFTTT

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

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