Long story but short version is married for almost 10yrs to a great guy and I thought we had a good relationship. We 32yrs old and successful in our jobs and ran a business together. We spent a lot of time on the farm together but also time going on vacation, movies, dinner, etc. We had conversations about sometimes sex would be lacking but we always got back on track. We just were busy.
2wks before the big bomb I got a story about how he was unhappy, wondering what else was out there, I let myself go and we weren't compatible. We vowed to work on things and we talked about it.
Then the weekend from hell where he informed me he just couldn't be married to me anymore. We were just too different, he was unhappy, had been unhappy for years, didn't like me as a person and wasn't sure why he married me. I was absolutely shocked. We talked that night and the next day the sex was good and we vowed to go to counseling.
Then on my b-day he came home and said he was leaving and wanted a divorce. Packed a bag and stayed at a friends for a week. Then I find out he is living with a friend..yep..my friend left her boyfriend of 3yrs and they were living together but just as "roommates/friends." Right. She had been riding at my farm for a year and he did spend a lot of time talking to her but I didn't pick up on anything odd. We spent lots of time with her and her boyfriend hanging out. I have now been told he was suffering in our marriage. He hadn't loved me in years. I have a terrible personality. I controlled him. He was just an obident husband.
It has been almost 2 months since he left. Last night he told me that there is no affair. He said he had just waited to see if things would change with us and they didn't and he let it build until he hated me. This girl has nothing to do with it (she is 24!).
I really don't know what to think. Is it an affair talking? There is so much history rewriting..I should have married you..I was forced into marrying you..I was so unhappy..I didn't love you in years. I have no clue what to think. He has blamed it all on me. I was a terrible wife. I didn't support him. I controlled him. It is crazy talk because that is not true (well he is passive so it is possible that I made the decisions but only because i asked and he didn't offer up suggestions).
It is possible that it is just an emotional affair and not physical. I just don't know what to think at this point. He left me but yet is so angry at me. He doesn't want to speak to me. He basically hates me. Said it was a LONG 10yrs and here I thought we had a good marriage.
He filed the divorce after he left and we will be divorce in 4 months.
I love this man but I just feel like I am hopeless. I can't decide if he really does feel that way about me or if this is him having an affair. It makes me feel better if it is an affair because I can justify his actions. Otherwise, I have to face that I guess he doesn't love/like me and my whole marriage was a lie.
2wks before the big bomb I got a story about how he was unhappy, wondering what else was out there, I let myself go and we weren't compatible. We vowed to work on things and we talked about it.
Then the weekend from hell where he informed me he just couldn't be married to me anymore. We were just too different, he was unhappy, had been unhappy for years, didn't like me as a person and wasn't sure why he married me. I was absolutely shocked. We talked that night and the next day the sex was good and we vowed to go to counseling.
Then on my b-day he came home and said he was leaving and wanted a divorce. Packed a bag and stayed at a friends for a week. Then I find out he is living with a friend..yep..my friend left her boyfriend of 3yrs and they were living together but just as "roommates/friends." Right. She had been riding at my farm for a year and he did spend a lot of time talking to her but I didn't pick up on anything odd. We spent lots of time with her and her boyfriend hanging out. I have now been told he was suffering in our marriage. He hadn't loved me in years. I have a terrible personality. I controlled him. He was just an obident husband.
It has been almost 2 months since he left. Last night he told me that there is no affair. He said he had just waited to see if things would change with us and they didn't and he let it build until he hated me. This girl has nothing to do with it (she is 24!).
I really don't know what to think. Is it an affair talking? There is so much history rewriting..I should have married you..I was forced into marrying you..I was so unhappy..I didn't love you in years. I have no clue what to think. He has blamed it all on me. I was a terrible wife. I didn't support him. I controlled him. It is crazy talk because that is not true (well he is passive so it is possible that I made the decisions but only because i asked and he didn't offer up suggestions).
It is possible that it is just an emotional affair and not physical. I just don't know what to think at this point. He left me but yet is so angry at me. He doesn't want to speak to me. He basically hates me. Said it was a LONG 10yrs and here I thought we had a good marriage.
He filed the divorce after he left and we will be divorce in 4 months.
I love this man but I just feel like I am hopeless. I can't decide if he really does feel that way about me or if this is him having an affair. It makes me feel better if it is an affair because I can justify his actions. Otherwise, I have to face that I guess he doesn't love/like me and my whole marriage was a lie.
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