I am a physician assistant who works M-F 8:30 to 5. I think those are pretty good hours. Much better than the hours I've worked previously.
My daughter is 5 and has become increasingly clingy, saying I don't love her because I won't stay home with her and that she doesn't like her dad. I am not sure how to explain this to my daughter: I have to work...for several reasons. First, we need the income. My lazy husband doesn't work (by choice) as he refuses to get a job. Second, I want to work. I don't want to be a stay at home mom. I have huge amounts of respect for women who stay home, but that is not my personality (I am not the patient, crafty type). I have told her this in every way possible. I try to talk about how me working helps us afford everything we have (and I name specific items). I tell her that even if Daddy did work, I make more than he does, so I need to work also.
The biggest issue I have is that I'm not sure if it's me working that is bothering her or that she is home with her father, who, I'll be honest, is a pretty lame stay at home dad. He doesn't do anything with them, he doesn't have much patience, and she constantly says she doesn't like him. I am planning to get a divorce in the next few months. I don't like him either (of course I don't say that to her).
I know she senses so much wrong because my husband is outright mean, mostly to me, but sometimes her as well. I feel so much guilt about leaving her to go to work. When I get home, I try to be so happy and loving, but being in this house just drags everyone down. This marriage is no good for anyone. And I feel like she's bearing the brunt of it. She loves me to pieces and wants me all the time. Thankfully she's in kindergarten and is only without me for 1.5 hours after school. I just wish I could help her see that I have to work and that I love her so much even if I'm not there all the time. She has a special necklace that we each wear a piece of. She gives me a zillions hugs and kisses each morning before I leave for work (and often cries for me). We lie together in her bed at night and read books and cuddle. She just wants more that I can't seem to give without being completely frustrated and overwhelmed.
Being a working mom is really hard. I love this kid so much and her accusations that I don't love her because I work really hurts. :( How can I approach this with her? How can I assuage this mommy guilt?
My daughter is 5 and has become increasingly clingy, saying I don't love her because I won't stay home with her and that she doesn't like her dad. I am not sure how to explain this to my daughter: I have to work...for several reasons. First, we need the income. My lazy husband doesn't work (by choice) as he refuses to get a job. Second, I want to work. I don't want to be a stay at home mom. I have huge amounts of respect for women who stay home, but that is not my personality (I am not the patient, crafty type). I have told her this in every way possible. I try to talk about how me working helps us afford everything we have (and I name specific items). I tell her that even if Daddy did work, I make more than he does, so I need to work also.
The biggest issue I have is that I'm not sure if it's me working that is bothering her or that she is home with her father, who, I'll be honest, is a pretty lame stay at home dad. He doesn't do anything with them, he doesn't have much patience, and she constantly says she doesn't like him. I am planning to get a divorce in the next few months. I don't like him either (of course I don't say that to her).
I know she senses so much wrong because my husband is outright mean, mostly to me, but sometimes her as well. I feel so much guilt about leaving her to go to work. When I get home, I try to be so happy and loving, but being in this house just drags everyone down. This marriage is no good for anyone. And I feel like she's bearing the brunt of it. She loves me to pieces and wants me all the time. Thankfully she's in kindergarten and is only without me for 1.5 hours after school. I just wish I could help her see that I have to work and that I love her so much even if I'm not there all the time. She has a special necklace that we each wear a piece of. She gives me a zillions hugs and kisses each morning before I leave for work (and often cries for me). We lie together in her bed at night and read books and cuddle. She just wants more that I can't seem to give without being completely frustrated and overwhelmed.
Being a working mom is really hard. I love this kid so much and her accusations that I don't love her because I work really hurts. :( How can I approach this with her? How can I assuage this mommy guilt?
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