Hi all,
I am in a 15 year marriage, two kids, and husband and I are in the process of separating. Over the last couple of months we have gone through a lot of therapy and self-discovery and one of the issues we identified as a problem in our marriage is my lack of interest in sex.
When we got married I was in love with him and he seemed like the perfect guy for me in almost every way except that I was not super sexually attracted to him. Don't get me wrong, he was very attractive and I did enjoy sex with him. I just never had that I need to rip off your clothes feeling with him and I think I just thought everything else was so great, the physical part of it isn't so important. Big mistake.
Through the years we had long periods in our marriage with no sex. I thought I had a low libido, that it was a problem with me. Here is this great guy and my best friend but I didn't really want to have sex with him :-(
As you can imagine this caused huge problems in our marriage. We are separating now, and are both seeing other people. I have discovered what that intense physical connection with someone else can feel like and now I realize it wasn't my libido that was the problem. I think you either have that connection with a person or not. And for me, I realized that sex is hugely important to me and I want to be with someone I want to have sex with. Just being good friends with your spouse is not enough.
Husband knows all of this and still wants to stay together but I don't think I can create physical chemistry if it was never there to begin with. Anyone been in this situation?
I am in a 15 year marriage, two kids, and husband and I are in the process of separating. Over the last couple of months we have gone through a lot of therapy and self-discovery and one of the issues we identified as a problem in our marriage is my lack of interest in sex.
When we got married I was in love with him and he seemed like the perfect guy for me in almost every way except that I was not super sexually attracted to him. Don't get me wrong, he was very attractive and I did enjoy sex with him. I just never had that I need to rip off your clothes feeling with him and I think I just thought everything else was so great, the physical part of it isn't so important. Big mistake.
Through the years we had long periods in our marriage with no sex. I thought I had a low libido, that it was a problem with me. Here is this great guy and my best friend but I didn't really want to have sex with him :-(
As you can imagine this caused huge problems in our marriage. We are separating now, and are both seeing other people. I have discovered what that intense physical connection with someone else can feel like and now I realize it wasn't my libido that was the problem. I think you either have that connection with a person or not. And for me, I realized that sex is hugely important to me and I want to be with someone I want to have sex with. Just being good friends with your spouse is not enough.
Husband knows all of this and still wants to stay together but I don't think I can create physical chemistry if it was never there to begin with. Anyone been in this situation?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment