please help!!

At the moment I feel like I am going around in circles. Last summer my husband (of 8years), got a blinding headache at the gym and he was sent for a MRI scan, it was all ok, but he took it badly and he was scared he was going to die. He was very depressed and it came to a point when he said he the classic - I love you but I am not in love with you anymore. Or more this is what he thought - he wasn't sure. Anyway, I was devastated went to stay with my parents for a night with my son. When, I came back he was sorry and it he didn't mean it, he was depressed cause he thought he was going to die. So, he changed roles in his job and began taking sleeping tablets and tried to sort himself out. So over the year, he would say he was happy but he was acting very selfishly and I had to say to him to do things as a family. So, I knew things were not right. Unfortunately, in May we lost a baby, I was pretty upset but I was managing. We were not trying for a baby, it was a complete fluke, however it was still sad. About a month later he had a friend's wedding reception to go to and we both went. We bumped into the OW there, they had not met for a long time. So since the wedding they had swapped numbers through fb and started texting each other. I caught on about two weeks ago, because of two things: firstly we were waiting for my step daughter to come out of school and he said he was calling her but he was holding his phone sideways obviously texting. I was like- who are you texting and he got very defensive, secondly I made a joke about him having a gf and before he would have laughed it off as both of have done in the past but again he was very defensive. I found a flirty correspondence between the two of them on his phone. When I confronted him, he coughed it. He said it was just flirting and that he basically has low self esteem and selfish. And he liked the attention, the little kick you get from flirting with someone. I threw him out, but he is back now, doing his best talking about it and stuff. He says it not my fault. I feel it must be a little., or something he doesn't like about me??? But, I can't get over it. I always told him it was a deal breaker. I knew he had low self esteem and needs a lot of attention, so i give it to him I always did. I feel like I can't help him any longer. I feel like I should try, but I don't want to.

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