please help help help me with this!

Im happy to have found this, ill try to give a short over view my wife was 21 when I met her 10 years ago with a 2 yr old son, we had known each other in high school and I had always had a crush on her, well time went on we fell in love, and were married my step son is like a son to me and we had a small child together, things were great we talked a lot laughed a lot, always showed a lot of affection towards each other and love to the children fast forwad 2 years we work separate shifts , I work first she works second with 2 varied days off during the week,2 children in school and not much time together, I think I became some what distant ill admit it, but we still had a sex etc and always loved the children...... well things started to go down hill, wife tried to help a lady from her work who wanted to leave her boyfriend, ill call her work lady,,, well work lady stayed here for a week (this is what I think killed our relashionship) she obsessed over facebook and going out,so my wife who never cared about facebook was now on it every waking momentand work lady hadher going out with her more than she ever wanted to.... well work lady got back with her boyfriend blamed my wife for breaking them up, and started drama with my wife before she quite ( my wife had also just helped work lady get and apartment and started to help her move in) Well througha ll this and now facebook a crowd at her work I never liked started talking to her, along with one guy she worked with, well days went on she went out with this new crowd staying out later and later (they were all trash, pretty much dirty party *****s) it came to a point were she ditched all her old friends events to hang out with these people...... I would usually wait up to everynight just to hang out with my wife before we went to bed since we didn't see each other much during the day, it came to the point were I couldn't because I was only getting about 2 hrs of sleep waiting for her, and she would come home every time near pass out drunk!!!!!!!!!!!!! she never wanted me to go with them ,and acted like they were her best friends in the world and knew them forever, she also became private about her phone and getting and sending more txts then she ever has, well I had a bad feeling so I went through her phone and started calling common numbers she sent txts too, well in moment of shock one was the guy who was part of this group, I called her out on it and she became defensive and said he was a friend and we might need some time apart since I was going through her phone.... I was shicked and cofused by how she was acting, following weeks she started wearing more make up ad dressing different, some days she would act like things were great with me and say she loved me when I would say it to her and others were distant, I kept track of phone records and seen sh would txt him when I was in the bathroom, when , we were out , when I was working,..... every minute she could things went on with us and became more odd for me , she would say out of character things said it was ok if I wanted a free pass for another woman if I found one (this threw up the biggest red flag) I called her out on it and said it just because she wanted to have sex with the guy she was txting, she said he was just a friend and I was being stupid (we still had sex through all this time) well I still had the rotten pit in my stomache, and one day while we were out we had an argument (we never really ever fought it was crazy , we would air things out before they were a problem,, those days were nice)and went home, I showed her the phone records I knew of and how often she would txt him ( I thought it was an emotional affair) she became out raged and changed her clothes to her woo hoo party girl clothes now and left well I freaked checked records (seen she was desperately txting the working guy and he wasn't responding much like he wasn't very interested in her anymore) and had a major panic attack, so bad that when she finally came home at 5 in the morning she took me to the hospital the day after I was out of the hospital I left with the kids , she cam home and was freaking out cause I was gone (im always home for my kids etc) her attitude changed and she started to act a little more like her self, I called her out again on her txting the guy and acting the way she had , said im done with this and she needed to decide who to be around and devote time to, us or her new trashy party friends and this guy ( I knew she was out partying most of the time and really didn't think she spent much with just the guy cause the ****ty people facebooked ****ty party pictures time stamped to around when she would come home) things became better, one by one the work ****s were fired because they were crappy at their jobs, and she came to me and said the guy was moving away, we talked more and she would cry and apologize sayin she didn't know what she was doing,she cant believe she would do this to the family she deleted her facebook, her phone wasnt hidden anymore, any password changed was put back to the orgional,no more going out , no more sloppy drunk and her attitude became very loving towards all of us again things seem to gone back to normal and had become better,well now three years later I would still get the feeling I didn't know the truth, there was too much that didn't add up too many txts the crazy behavior etc, well I called her out again last sunday wrote a long letter saying I pretty much need the whole story and the truth cause things didn't add up from that time ( I still thought it was an emotional affair) so I woke up the next morning when I knew the children had left for church, and seen her in the kitchen with a gut wrenching look on her face, so I asked if the letter was read , she said " yes'' I told her if she still want me around its time for the truth ... I started asking questions and she finally admitted to txting the guy and partying and drinking to much and answering everything I asked her, then I came time for the atom bomb I had finally asked what was burning me all this time '' did you have sex with him" ( she was already apologizing and crying hystericaly and repeating she messed up and how sorry she was) she looked at me full of tears and wouldn't answer and kept sobbing , then started to say " I don't want to hurt you , whats going to happen " I knew how far it went and said " if we are going to get better keep telling me the truth , im guessing you did and I don't know what im goin to do now" she said she had she went to his house and had sex one time with a condom and she felt so bad after it happened she couldn't even think about doing it again with him ( I don't know if believe that,,, she knows how I felt about cheaters , but I kind of believe it was only once cause she knew it wouldn't matter if it was one time or ten to me... and she was also being so honest finally about everything else) my heart hit the floor she kept sobbing and apologizing saying she knew she f@@ked up and she was so sorry and wanted to move on, and how what she did haunts her everyday andshe sobs on the couch while the kids are in school until she goes to work I still love her but am just thrown, the years after this has happened (before knew it was any kind of sexual) I know she as tried to go above and beyond for me, calls all the time from work, no facebook no different passwords , waaay different attitude ( seems like me and the children are above anything else to her now) and her giving me all the answers I asked made me feel like she really has felt bad, but this is such a big mistake, was she hiding the sexual part of the affair not to hurt me ... really? ,,, was it only one time ( not that that is ok ) is that why the guy left her high and dry and wouldn't reply as much to her txts I gave her a week of hell , drilling her with questions again to see if I would get the same , answer, asking her how she could do this to us etc, she said she swore on the children it would never happen again ( and cried and sobbed but never walked away just took all the hell I was giving her), that she had hung around the wrong crowd and lost who she is, she wanted me to try and forgive her and she'll do anything to try to help us move on is she really sorry , I still love her this is a huge mistake but did she get carried away with the wrong crowd ? want to live like she was 21 again but this time with no children or me? please help me I want to try my hardest to keep our family together , she gave me the horrid truth even though she knew it would be pure hell from me do you all think it was a very bad misjudgemet? and she really is sorry ( I feel in my heart she is) im sorry for the bad grammar but I just let it pour out thanks

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