Men's Prospective Needed: Is His Response Genuine Or Otherwise

Please see my other posts in financial for background. I'm looking for a man's point-of-view regarding my H's response: is it one of a person who wants to make things right because it's the right thing to do or is it some form of manipulation to make me feel guilty. Essentially resentment building on my part for paying the mortgage and all utilities for several with limited assistance while seeing a lot of his money going to his adult kids ($22K to help his daughter buy a house last year alone). Second marriage. He owns his business so no bi-weekly paycheck. No joint accounts. His son and the son's girlfriend have been living with us since their undergraduate college graduation last December. The GF has been employed since January, the son remains unemployed. H knows I am not in agreement with the GF living here and it remains an unresolved point of contention with me. Today, I opened our water bill and found it close to twice of what it was exactly one year ago (they provide the comparison on the bill-same number of days in the billing cycle so apples to apples comparison). I mentioned that out loud to my H as I was paying the bill. He said it probably was because we have his son living here now and I said "yes and the girlfriend" No tone was used. Honestly my remark was partially due to son/GF's usage, part of surprise and finally wondering if we needed to fix the leaky faucets (2 drip). He said, what is it, about $20 more? I said yes. He threw $25 over to me where I was sitting. He said "I'm not a mind reader on these issues, you have to tell me." Five minutes later, he tells me that he is paying our son-in-law 2 hours not to work for H so he can pick up something I bought and deliver it to the business. He is also going to pay him $ for gas as well so about $50. He said it was just an observation. I promptly returned the $25 to him and he said I didn't have to and I said "It's only fair". I then asked him given the timing was this statement related to my earlier statement. I cannot recall that he made a definitive statement but he threw the $25 back to me. He didn't raise his voice and he is surfing on his laptop and I'm feeling uncomfortable. I did hit a raw nerve with him because he finally did say that because I mentioned the GF that he inferred that I was blaming them on the additional usage. I told him that I didn't think it was solely due to them as we have some leaking faucets that I have the DIY book out. I did say that I do pay all the bills each month. Then it started, not yelling but he started quoting the lost productivity by not having the son-in-law at work for the two hours. That it was something to consider. He then said we could sell the rental house that I re-fied but he looks at the return on investment with the rent to be higher than what I could derive if I left the money in a conservative account. He then said that's why I make sure that the son has enough money to eat out. Then he started in with the seat switch that he just installed in my car (he owns a repair shop) was $200 and at that point I told him that I do take issue with that because he doesn't charge any of his kids with car repairs so I don't think that should be different for me. He then said "We'll go back to paying $200/week so you won't feel like you are losing out money being married to me. I told him that I would calculate the real costs and credit the car insurance he pays for my two cars and my daughter's (he pays for about 10 cars between some we buy and then sell, a loaner, one for his son etc.). I told him that I wanted to be fair. He then said the $3800 pending proceeds from a car sold at an auction that he planned to use to pay down his credit card, he will give to me to make me whole. I told him that I didn't want that check and that we can just start balancing things out on a going forward basis. I then said, "What I do for you at the shop, isn't it of value to you?" His response was, "You could train the son or another one of his employees to do that; however, you always get offended when I consider that." I said it is something that I like to do. I didn't think it was the right time to also state that I also do it because I have financial skin in the game where the loans for his building are concerned.

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