| Where do I start? I came home from a school field trip from South Carolina on Friday (I am a teacher at a local high school), and my wife had moved all of her things out of the house. I was and am still devastated. There are no other men, i asked and she has always been very honest with me. There really isn't the opportunity as we are always together with our kids. We have been married 7 years and together for 10. This is both our second marriage and we have 1 child together and 2 from my previous marriage...the oldest is off to college. I'm a loving husband and love my wife with all my heart and it hurts to my core that she isn't here. I fully acknowledge that I am a controlling person. I don't tell her what she can and can't do but I know that I haven't been very good at listening to her and giving her the credit she deserves as an equal partner in our marriage. Originally when I came home Friday she said I asked if she wanted a divorce, she said crying....yes. I about collapsed. I know it took a lot of courage to do what she did. I was calm but very sad and cried in front of her which is new for me. We have since then talked a little, mostly me asking for her to come back so I can prove myself to her and our marriage and how important it was to for her to hear that I would do anything it took to make our marriage work. I wrote her a letter because I wanted her to see and have as a document of my commitment and to tell her just how much loved her. She says she needs some space, she is currently staying with her mother and brother and we split time with our little 6 yr old daughter. It's hard for me to keep it together, when I look at my daughter I get very sad and she often wipes tears away from my face. I miss my best friend desperately and all I want to do is prove to her that I've been an idiot and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. Back to the space thing...I really w ant to give it her, when everything in my body says get in there and fight and fix this! She says she is willing to work on our marriage and even move back...eventually....months...not sure. She wants to see change and I totally agree...I am going to counseling (starting next week) and so is she. I have this overwhelming fear that she will grow apart from me while going to counseling. Normally, I am an extremely confident person but this has totally rocked me. Nether of us have ever cheated, we have no money issues, both of us have great jobs. There have been other stressors; moving, new jobs, she recently had a hysterectomy...she's only 41. Anyway, HELP! Is there hope for us, I am absolutely miserable...I find myself telling her I love her when I get off the phone with her....I set myself up because the response is "ok". We are civil to each other and still laugh on the phone....we talk because of our daughter. Thoughts? Ladies, especially you. Can I save my mar riage? |
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