| My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and I've taken a "break" twice. I'm 25 and he is 27. For the first 2 years we were together there were many times I could picture myself marrying him. He is ready to get married. But, the past year i've been feeling very indecisive. Little things have happened that i'm worried are red flags. Just recently, we were getting "in the mood" and i noticed he had chaffing on his penis. I asked what happened and he said it was sore from when we had sex last and him touching himself. I said, that's weird, you've never gotten that from us having sex before. He got quiet and very nervous. I said, "is that why you have been rejecting me the last few days? because you were embarassed of your penis?" He said yes. I said, "why didn't you just tell me? it's no big deal." he responded, "i didn't want you to think i'm masturbating too much." then i became concerned. it was quiet for a while and then i said , "so should i be concerned?" he finally told me that he struggled with pornography in highschool (9+ yrs ago) and that recently, when i told him i wastn't sure about us and we broke up for about a week, he feel back into the pattern of pornography (hints the chaffing on his penis). I immediately felt scared and angry. I'm mad at him for not telling me after we've been together for so long and i've told him about some very rough addiction i've faced in the past. Obviously he's embarrassed and hiding it from me. the problem is now i'm second guessing everything. Is he watching porn now? What kind of porn does he watch? Is he hiding other things from me? The list goes on and on... He said he realizes it's a problem and he will fix it. I asked him what he wants me to do and he said he just wants my support. Has anyone else been in this type of situation? I don't necessarily think he is a sex addict but I'm worried because i've read about the things that porn addiction can turn into. He still loves me and usually wants sex with me but now i'm concerned about the times in the past were he "just wasn't in the mood" for month! Was he preoccupied with porn? Any advice is greatly appreciated... |
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