What's it like

I am still looking for help. I am a 58 year old Asperger and I have been married for 38 years. During our marriage she has had at least one EA/PA and during our separations she had had sex with at least seven others. Our marriage has been sexless for 24 years. I am not happy that all of this has happened but it doesn't really bother me, except that I can get very angry and depressed because of our lack of intimacy. Since my diagnosis my life has started to work, I have lost wieght, rebuilt much of my health and would like to have sex, but I'm sort of lost. What does it feel like to be in love, to want some one and to be wanted back? How do I love someone when for most emotions the best I can do is mimic them? My wife is not giving me "red flags", her phone and computer are open to me and I know where she is and who she is with at all times (as she knows me) so I know she isn't cheating. I can't because of who I am. I have a limited grasp on these emotions, but would like to feel at least some of them. Can anyone tell me?

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