Want your opinion please

I usually post under general discussion but wanted your opinions on my thoughts right now? For those that don't know, just briefly, I have been with H 11 yrs been married 5, no kids, always a good solid couple loved each other so much, had real good fun together for 10 of those years. Dec 2011 he started to suffer stress at work, slowly unknowingly got depressed, never suffered it before. Started being distant and aggressive toward me all through 2012. Found out he was having an affair Oct 2012. Wouldn't stop the affair, said he was confused, and doesn't know what he wants. He's not sure our marriage is over at all, still loves me, blah, blah, blah. Says he is going to move out shortly, to soul search and to think about what he could be losing. I have been and am devastated and have been thinking about it all the time, 24/7 since October, but coping. However, the past couple of days I am having trouble looking at him. I think to myself how dare you sit there and make polite conversation with me knowing you are having an affair with another woman. I have given him too much of his own way and have to be honest made it easy for him over the past months. I blamed the depression on everything, but now I know it's not an excuse. I have asked him to take me out of the equation when he leaves and then he doesn't have to think about me when he's gone, he can then think about the O/W only. I have mentioned this a few times and each time I get the same reaction. He cries and cries!! I know he is hedging his bets and fence sitting and I have been allowing that. I now feel I want to tell him that he can forget about me when he leaves, because I am going to be getting on with it and that I need a life for myself. If he is unable to make a decision, then I can't wait any more, I have been more than generous. It pains me to even write this, but it's obvious he sadly sees me as a pushover and I need to make a stand and not be walked over any longer. I am in pain anyway and have been for 4 months, so what's the difference, so perhaps it's about time I take over the power and control. What do you think his reaction may be?

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