Always the same fight

We have been married for 5 years, together 6, and I am generally happy and (I hope) so is she. We do have our share of minor disagreements and once in a while (every 2-3 months) a really huge fight that can last from a few hours to up to a few days. Those fights always follow roughly the same pattern. Her attitude goes through the following stages. 1. I am really pissed and I'm not talking to you right now 2. I am not happy with you or with this marriage 3. We're too different and this marriage isn't worth fighting for 4. I'm a b*tch, you deserve to be with someone better so I'm leaving you 5. We have some issues that we need to work through 6. You're the best person in the world and I can't believe I was thinking about leaving you, please forgive me My reaction to all of the above tends to be: 1. That's ok, I'm pretty pissed too and not talking to you either 2. Then what the f*** are you doing here? 3. As long as we love each other it's worth fighting for in spite of our whatever problems we may have 4. I'm capable of deciding for myself whether or not I want to stay with you 5. Let's talk 6. Okay, but don't do it again and try to skip stages 2, 3 and 4 next time Sometimes the fiths are triggered by trivial things, sometimes or over by disagreements over big decisions. Sometimes she's right, sometimes I am. This has happened for as long as we've been together, so I am usually confident we will eventually arrive at stage 6. Outside of those fights, she is very loving, caring, affectionate and I love her. I would go through considerable length to keep her. Now, the problem is that lately these episodes have increased in frequency and duration. And they tend to get stuck on stages 2 and 3 longer. I am worried that one day we might not come out of it and she might leave me for real. I don't want that to happen. What do you think I could do that might help this situation? Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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