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Riddle Me This Batman(Left Wives Club Mainly)

So wife and I talked for a few hours yesterday. We discussed our sitch and she mentioned again how much I hurt her in the early years. Aloof, apathetic, selfish, not there for her, etc. FF now and she holds all that against me STILL(ie emotional walls), BUT when separation/divorce comes up, she states that will "Really Hurt Her". What kind of boondoggle rubiks cube is this? Why is it hurting someone to leave them if you are the supposed hurter in the relationship. I was floored as it appears to leave no agreeable option. Is this common for Left wives to feel this hurt even if they know it was a bad M? How is it hurting you if YOU KNOW you are better off?



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