I need help, counsel or at least someone to talk to...
I am a guy, 34 years old. I am married for 4 years last June, my wife is 3.5 years younger, we have a 3 years old beautiful daughter.
Our marriage has been going down the drain since 3 years ago, I think it started with argument about purchasing a house. I was under financial restrain that year as my father was in and out of hospital cause of his liver cirrhosis. After I said no to a house of her choice, she went on and buy another house without my consent... through loan from her boss. Afterward, our relationship deteriorate, she often shouts at tiniest issues, maybe I was also not being a good father as she had to deal with our newborn. Everything was slowly rotting. She refused to show affection not even hold my hands.
Anyway, after several months of sexual drought - can't even touch her hand - (about 7 months after last sexual activity) I got angry when I found she had watched lots of porn when she is on a business trip, something she didn't do at home.
I asked whether she had someone else and took this matter to counsel, in hope she understand that I am lonely (my father passed away during this time too)
After counseling, it got even worse as the counseling had a reverse effect, now she hates me even more, so I asked my best friend (and best man) to maybe talk about it...
big mistake, I found that they had (at least a) sexual activity....while I had none for more than a year
when I confront my wife, she lied. She said they had a bet that I would jealous if I saw their texts....
their text was about intercourse and how the difference between doing it with me, and with him...
I also found their hotel receipt (which she said they meet up but did nothing but talk - inside a hotel room ) and dirty laundry. Every evidence points at adultery...
Right now I don't know what to do.... I love my daughter and I don't want her to suffer through a divorce.....
but if my wife is capable to ignore me while I am healthy and provide her with her daily needs, I am sure she'll left me when I am old or sick.
Also, I am sure my wife would put the blame on me (her family and friends dislike me ) although she was the one that wanted a divorce
At the moment I choose to live in a separate house but I play with my daughter everyday
I can't trust anyone anymore....except my daughter, who makes me happy
Any advice on how do I live from now on is appreciated...
I am a guy, 34 years old. I am married for 4 years last June, my wife is 3.5 years younger, we have a 3 years old beautiful daughter.
Our marriage has been going down the drain since 3 years ago, I think it started with argument about purchasing a house. I was under financial restrain that year as my father was in and out of hospital cause of his liver cirrhosis. After I said no to a house of her choice, she went on and buy another house without my consent... through loan from her boss. Afterward, our relationship deteriorate, she often shouts at tiniest issues, maybe I was also not being a good father as she had to deal with our newborn. Everything was slowly rotting. She refused to show affection not even hold my hands.
Anyway, after several months of sexual drought - can't even touch her hand - (about 7 months after last sexual activity) I got angry when I found she had watched lots of porn when she is on a business trip, something she didn't do at home.
I asked whether she had someone else and took this matter to counsel, in hope she understand that I am lonely (my father passed away during this time too)
After counseling, it got even worse as the counseling had a reverse effect, now she hates me even more, so I asked my best friend (and best man) to maybe talk about it...
big mistake, I found that they had (at least a) sexual activity....while I had none for more than a year
when I confront my wife, she lied. She said they had a bet that I would jealous if I saw their texts....
their text was about intercourse and how the difference between doing it with me, and with him...
I also found their hotel receipt (which she said they meet up but did nothing but talk - inside a hotel room ) and dirty laundry. Every evidence points at adultery...
Right now I don't know what to do.... I love my daughter and I don't want her to suffer through a divorce.....
but if my wife is capable to ignore me while I am healthy and provide her with her daily needs, I am sure she'll left me when I am old or sick.
Also, I am sure my wife would put the blame on me (her family and friends dislike me ) although she was the one that wanted a divorce
At the moment I choose to live in a separate house but I play with my daughter everyday
I can't trust anyone anymore....except my daughter, who makes me happy
Any advice on how do I live from now on is appreciated...
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