Hello,
We have been married for over 20 years and our married life has been okay with the usual ups and downs that exist in any marriage. We have 3 kids. Our biggest issue has been the mistrust/insecurity that my wife has towards me with other women even though I have never cheated on her. She falsely accuses/assumes I have affairs with women, whether with lady colleagues at work, ladies in her family, ladies at Church, etc. If some lady greets me, she gets suspicious. I understand these are signs of jealousy spouse syndrome. However, the reason for my writing is that for the last 5 years, she has been pretty secretive and possessive with her cell phone and usually shops for a couple of hours 4-5 times a week before coming home. Three weeks ago, with a change in cell phone provider, I had access to her cell phone records and noticed over 110 text messages over 2 days between her and a guy that we both had met some 3 years ago at a Church but we hardly knew him. He was trying to make a conversation with her when I walked back into the room at a Church. There was also a 15 minute phone call I discovered three weeks ago. I only had access to her cell phone for a week as she switched back to her old phone provider after a week. Interestingly, her jealous/mistrust behavior has decreased the last few months.
While not being 100% sure, I am pretty sure that they don't meet in person but converse over cell phone texts and calls. I understand this is labeled as emotional infidelity or affair. I have some ideas of my own but want to get your input as to how I should approach her, what to say, etc. I definitely want this behavior to stop if we continue to stay married. How would I know or trust if it stopped or not going forward after I talk to her? I am thinking of asking her to share her access to her cell phone with me. How about if she refuses to? She has been possessive of her cell phone the last few years and has kept her separate phone account. What options do I have? Thank you for your advice.
We have been married for over 20 years and our married life has been okay with the usual ups and downs that exist in any marriage. We have 3 kids. Our biggest issue has been the mistrust/insecurity that my wife has towards me with other women even though I have never cheated on her. She falsely accuses/assumes I have affairs with women, whether with lady colleagues at work, ladies in her family, ladies at Church, etc. If some lady greets me, she gets suspicious. I understand these are signs of jealousy spouse syndrome. However, the reason for my writing is that for the last 5 years, she has been pretty secretive and possessive with her cell phone and usually shops for a couple of hours 4-5 times a week before coming home. Three weeks ago, with a change in cell phone provider, I had access to her cell phone records and noticed over 110 text messages over 2 days between her and a guy that we both had met some 3 years ago at a Church but we hardly knew him. He was trying to make a conversation with her when I walked back into the room at a Church. There was also a 15 minute phone call I discovered three weeks ago. I only had access to her cell phone for a week as she switched back to her old phone provider after a week. Interestingly, her jealous/mistrust behavior has decreased the last few months.
While not being 100% sure, I am pretty sure that they don't meet in person but converse over cell phone texts and calls. I understand this is labeled as emotional infidelity or affair. I have some ideas of my own but want to get your input as to how I should approach her, what to say, etc. I definitely want this behavior to stop if we continue to stay married. How would I know or trust if it stopped or not going forward after I talk to her? I am thinking of asking her to share her access to her cell phone with me. How about if she refuses to? She has been possessive of her cell phone the last few years and has kept her separate phone account. What options do I have? Thank you for your advice.
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