but we are all friends here and besides we are all anonymous, so here goes - masturbation
Before my divorce, especially over the last few years. I started to take matters into my own hand so to speak. After numerous rejections and being told she "didn't have time to think about being with me" I came to the point of simply not pushing the envelope anymore. I seldom initiated but took when it was offered, which was maybe once every week or so. In the meantime I satisfied my needs with porn and masturbation.
After my divorce I masturbated a lot. I was angry and horny and just wanted the release. A good orgasm seemed to release enough tension to allow me to sleep at night. I felt that fantasizing about possibilities was a good thing. Porn helped fuel those fantasies.
Over time, this has continued. I had a short relationship and it involved sex. I feel that my performance in that department during this relationship was somewhat not up to par. I never felt as though I could perform to the level. I had not felt this way with my ex. The funny (or sad depending on you look at it) was that this woman was pretty much game for anything and everything. But I felt intimidated.
Then I have read numerous threads where the topic is discussed.
Today I was doing some research and I came upon a series of articles about masturbation. The gist of the articles dealt with some of the harmful side effects of it. They all mentioned some of the health benefits, prostate health, tension relief etc.
But there were quite a few that dealt with the adverse effects. The lowering of testerone levels was one. When you masturbate a lot you start to think why bother going after her when you can probably find a porn star that looks like her. If you do meet a lady, the reality is she can probably never live up to the porn or fantasy you created in the first place. You tend to think constantly about sex. You tend to begin viewing others in terms of sexual availability (objectifying). You get lazy and don't do the necessary things you need to do to attract a member of the opposite sex. After all, why bother showering, brushing your teeth, putting on deoderant, wearing nice clothes, shaving, manscaping or for that matter trying to please her, when your fantasy will never complain about any of those things. No need to seduce your fantasy, she does whatever you want, anytime you want, wherever, whenever, however with no hang ups, aversions, hesitancy.
This got me thinking about some of the larger issues in life. Such as depression, withdrawal, anxiety and low self esteem. Most of these issues are reinforced and abetted by masturbation.
One thing I read was about dopamine resistance. which is a scientific term that explains addictive behavior. Basically you get a dopamine dump when you orgasm. This happens whether you are alone or with some one else, but being with someone else also involves a host of neurotransmitters such as prolactin, seratonin and others that offset the pure dopamine rush of masturbation. Over time, you crave the dopamine and so you engage in whatever the action is again. The same holds true of cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, drugs, practically any addictive activity. The more dopamine you dump, the more your body craves. Overtime, the dopamine receptors get overwhelmed and you become resistant to the dopamine, similar to a diabetic's insulin resistance. So you need more and more activity to release more and more dopamine in order to feel the rush.
The dopamine offsets the seratonin in your system and the result is depression, anxiety, social withdrawal and low self esteem. I am curious how others feel about this topic.
A lot of what I read makes perfect sense to me.
Before my divorce, especially over the last few years. I started to take matters into my own hand so to speak. After numerous rejections and being told she "didn't have time to think about being with me" I came to the point of simply not pushing the envelope anymore. I seldom initiated but took when it was offered, which was maybe once every week or so. In the meantime I satisfied my needs with porn and masturbation.
After my divorce I masturbated a lot. I was angry and horny and just wanted the release. A good orgasm seemed to release enough tension to allow me to sleep at night. I felt that fantasizing about possibilities was a good thing. Porn helped fuel those fantasies.
Over time, this has continued. I had a short relationship and it involved sex. I feel that my performance in that department during this relationship was somewhat not up to par. I never felt as though I could perform to the level. I had not felt this way with my ex. The funny (or sad depending on you look at it) was that this woman was pretty much game for anything and everything. But I felt intimidated.
Then I have read numerous threads where the topic is discussed.
Today I was doing some research and I came upon a series of articles about masturbation. The gist of the articles dealt with some of the harmful side effects of it. They all mentioned some of the health benefits, prostate health, tension relief etc.
But there were quite a few that dealt with the adverse effects. The lowering of testerone levels was one. When you masturbate a lot you start to think why bother going after her when you can probably find a porn star that looks like her. If you do meet a lady, the reality is she can probably never live up to the porn or fantasy you created in the first place. You tend to think constantly about sex. You tend to begin viewing others in terms of sexual availability (objectifying). You get lazy and don't do the necessary things you need to do to attract a member of the opposite sex. After all, why bother showering, brushing your teeth, putting on deoderant, wearing nice clothes, shaving, manscaping or for that matter trying to please her, when your fantasy will never complain about any of those things. No need to seduce your fantasy, she does whatever you want, anytime you want, wherever, whenever, however with no hang ups, aversions, hesitancy.
This got me thinking about some of the larger issues in life. Such as depression, withdrawal, anxiety and low self esteem. Most of these issues are reinforced and abetted by masturbation.
One thing I read was about dopamine resistance. which is a scientific term that explains addictive behavior. Basically you get a dopamine dump when you orgasm. This happens whether you are alone or with some one else, but being with someone else also involves a host of neurotransmitters such as prolactin, seratonin and others that offset the pure dopamine rush of masturbation. Over time, you crave the dopamine and so you engage in whatever the action is again. The same holds true of cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, drugs, practically any addictive activity. The more dopamine you dump, the more your body craves. Overtime, the dopamine receptors get overwhelmed and you become resistant to the dopamine, similar to a diabetic's insulin resistance. So you need more and more activity to release more and more dopamine in order to feel the rush.
The dopamine offsets the seratonin in your system and the result is depression, anxiety, social withdrawal and low self esteem. I am curious how others feel about this topic.
A lot of what I read makes perfect sense to me.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment