Wife being unreasonable?

My wife and I are having problems. We have been married for over a year, but we have been living together for 5. We have a 1yr3mo old daughter. She has ZERO friends(really). Her relationship with her family is strained at best. She was molested as a child by a family member. I believe this has had a profound impact on the way she see's the world(And I don't blame her for that). I have a great family that has always supported me. We moved across the country(literally coast to coast) for my work. She is a stay at home mom. Whenever there is even the slightest hint that someone wants to come see us(Family, my friends) we end up arguing. She wants to only to limit time spent with them. But then when they get here, she has a fine time. She refuses to let any of my family stay at our house. They fly across the country and spend all that money to see us and she won't even offer a couch or extra room. These are people that have supported not only m e, but us. Emotionally and financially at times. It is like she doesn't want to go out of her way in the slightest for anyone, no matter how much they may have gone out of their way for her/us. She has told me on a few occasions that my close friends are not my friends at all. Time, life, and distance may have separated me from my friends some, but I know they still are. She doesn't have friends so I don't see how she can make that statement...she doesn't know what it is like to have lifelong friends. I try to be sensitive, but sometimes I gotta try and be real with her and tell her that this horrific thing she went through impacts the way she treats people. Which means she trusts nobody. She said that if grandparents lived nearby, that she would only be comfortable to let them babysit 4 times a year. My grandparents watched me almost everyday when I was a child....and I am so very grateful. She said she would rather hire a stranger from a company (and pay them) the n let grandparents babysit. Is this normal? Or am I the one outta line here?

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