This topic was brought up briefly in another thread, the concept that chivalry was dead, or should be dead (reference was made to an article published by a feminist on this topic) . The idea was that chivalry was archaic, a system that was followed because the belief was women were weak (or really anyone who you directed chivalrous actions towards, you did so because you believed they were weak). Translate that to today, things such as holding a door open for a female and paying for dinner (things I would consider being a gentlemen), well, unless you would do that for everyone you are not treating her as an equal, you are treating her as someone weak, and that is unacceptable.
I read a separate article talking about the same topic, but from the viewpoint of a man. He believed chivalry was dead simply because women were not demanding it from men, they were making it too easy for men to reach the "end goal" with minimal effort. He argued that women should in fact demand more from men, otherwise what incentive do they have if everything was just handed out to them on a plate.
And talk about perfect timing as I was thinking about this, driving to work this morning and the usual relationship/blown off segment came on the radio. Guy went out on a date, thought it went great, but never heard back from the female. The radio station called the female, and she blasted the guy for you guessed it, not doing the chivalry/gentlemen things. When he went to pick up her for the date, he just honked the horn instead of going to the front door to get her. He didn't get the car door for her. He didn't hold the door open for her at the restaurant. They had to stop to get gas, and as he got to the pump he got a business call he needed to take, so he asked her if she could pump the gas. His response was that he was treating her as an equal (he did actually say this), how he would treat anyone else, and that pissed her off (so much so that even though she said he was great looking and they had a great time, she wanted nothing to do with him after the date was over). < br>
Add to it the age old debate about why do a-holes get the girls, and it is no wonder guys' heads are spinning. There are so many messages out there, whether first hand or via the media, that are contradictory. It would seem to me the safest bet nowadays, minimize the gentlemen acts and adopt more of an a-hole attitude. In the long run this may lead to a very un-fulfilling life, but in the short run seems like you will get the most bang for your buck ... Play your cards right, you could even walk away with a shiny new STD, yikes (Tinder and hookup apps blamed for rise in STDs - May. 26, 2015)
For me personally, this doesn't affect me since unless something goes terribly wrong, I won't have to worry about dating. However, as someone who does have two young boys, I do wonder what they will be walking in to once they are old enough to date. I will hopefully pass on to them to be gentleman, and if somehow this offends a female, well, kick her to the curb and move on. I have to believe there are still women out there who appreciate these qualities in a guy (maybe they are just not vocal about it since they will probably be met with resistance as if they are setting back the whole female species 50 years).
To clarify as well, this is not meant to in any way be a bash against women. I am quite fond of women, love/adore my wife, she is my equal, etc... This is just meant to be a discussion on what appears to be a very mixed message these days going out to guys on how they are supposed to (or not supposed to) act.
I have a feeling this should make for an interesting conversation here :grin2: :redcard::FIREdevil::2gunsfiring_v1::woohoo:
I read a separate article talking about the same topic, but from the viewpoint of a man. He believed chivalry was dead simply because women were not demanding it from men, they were making it too easy for men to reach the "end goal" with minimal effort. He argued that women should in fact demand more from men, otherwise what incentive do they have if everything was just handed out to them on a plate.
And talk about perfect timing as I was thinking about this, driving to work this morning and the usual relationship/blown off segment came on the radio. Guy went out on a date, thought it went great, but never heard back from the female. The radio station called the female, and she blasted the guy for you guessed it, not doing the chivalry/gentlemen things. When he went to pick up her for the date, he just honked the horn instead of going to the front door to get her. He didn't get the car door for her. He didn't hold the door open for her at the restaurant. They had to stop to get gas, and as he got to the pump he got a business call he needed to take, so he asked her if she could pump the gas. His response was that he was treating her as an equal (he did actually say this), how he would treat anyone else, and that pissed her off (so much so that even though she said he was great looking and they had a great time, she wanted nothing to do with him after the date was over). < br>
Add to it the age old debate about why do a-holes get the girls, and it is no wonder guys' heads are spinning. There are so many messages out there, whether first hand or via the media, that are contradictory. It would seem to me the safest bet nowadays, minimize the gentlemen acts and adopt more of an a-hole attitude. In the long run this may lead to a very un-fulfilling life, but in the short run seems like you will get the most bang for your buck ... Play your cards right, you could even walk away with a shiny new STD, yikes (Tinder and hookup apps blamed for rise in STDs - May. 26, 2015)
For me personally, this doesn't affect me since unless something goes terribly wrong, I won't have to worry about dating. However, as someone who does have two young boys, I do wonder what they will be walking in to once they are old enough to date. I will hopefully pass on to them to be gentleman, and if somehow this offends a female, well, kick her to the curb and move on. I have to believe there are still women out there who appreciate these qualities in a guy (maybe they are just not vocal about it since they will probably be met with resistance as if they are setting back the whole female species 50 years).
To clarify as well, this is not meant to in any way be a bash against women. I am quite fond of women, love/adore my wife, she is my equal, etc... This is just meant to be a discussion on what appears to be a very mixed message these days going out to guys on how they are supposed to (or not supposed to) act.
I have a feeling this should make for an interesting conversation here :grin2: :redcard::FIREdevil::2gunsfiring_v1::woohoo:
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment