Help/clarity
I have been with my wife for 10yrs, of which we have been married for 3yrs. My wife and I are from completely different backgrounds.
Five years ago I had an affair and had a child with the woman. After many months of arguments with my wife about the affair and child, she seemed to be slowing accepting the situation. 3yrs ago she found out that I was still communication with the lady and the lady had decided to go to court to claim maintenance, to make sure she got money every month. As an attempt to try and discredit the maintenance claims and also claim for damages from the other lady, my wife decided that we get married. To silence her I agreed to get married, but after some thought, I told her that we should be married for the right reason; not out of spite.
This upset her as she thought I was trying to defend the other lady. After reasoning with her, we eventually got married in court. She continued to be upset with my excessive alcohol intake and infidelity. She felt that I didn't take her seriously and that I treated her like a maid, who was there to look after my kids. I love my wife, but we are on two different wave links, and with what has happened in the past five years has made us grow apart. She now wants out, to get away far away from me. She even wants to leave the kids.
I'm not looking for any sympathy; I'm looking for some good advice. I know what I have done is wrong. Because of my actions, I seem to be drowning in my own sh*t. I'm in a predicament, especially with my kids. I'm an orphan and have no family; if I had I would have asked a sister/brother to come assist me. How do I conscience my wife to at least stay for the kids until we figure out a plan for the kids wellbeing?
Thank you for taking the time to listen.
Alfam
I have been with my wife for 10yrs, of which we have been married for 3yrs. My wife and I are from completely different backgrounds.
Five years ago I had an affair and had a child with the woman. After many months of arguments with my wife about the affair and child, she seemed to be slowing accepting the situation. 3yrs ago she found out that I was still communication with the lady and the lady had decided to go to court to claim maintenance, to make sure she got money every month. As an attempt to try and discredit the maintenance claims and also claim for damages from the other lady, my wife decided that we get married. To silence her I agreed to get married, but after some thought, I told her that we should be married for the right reason; not out of spite.
This upset her as she thought I was trying to defend the other lady. After reasoning with her, we eventually got married in court. She continued to be upset with my excessive alcohol intake and infidelity. She felt that I didn't take her seriously and that I treated her like a maid, who was there to look after my kids. I love my wife, but we are on two different wave links, and with what has happened in the past five years has made us grow apart. She now wants out, to get away far away from me. She even wants to leave the kids.
I'm not looking for any sympathy; I'm looking for some good advice. I know what I have done is wrong. Because of my actions, I seem to be drowning in my own sh*t. I'm in a predicament, especially with my kids. I'm an orphan and have no family; if I had I would have asked a sister/brother to come assist me. How do I conscience my wife to at least stay for the kids until we figure out a plan for the kids wellbeing?
Thank you for taking the time to listen.
Alfam
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