My husband & I separated 3 months ago- we've been married for 5 years, together for 6 years total. I'm the one who decided to leave the marriage because he was emotionally abusive & has narcissistic personality disorder, and I couldn't take his life-draining, ridiculous, hurtful behavior anymore. I moved out of our house with our 18 month old daughter & moved in with my mother, who only lives a few miles away. I'm not posting this to necessarily talk about his narcissism, though it does play a factor, but I need some advice regarding reconciling with him possibly...I think I already know the answer to my question, but I want to know what other people think...
I'm not in love with my husband anymore. Frankly, I don't really like him because since I've figured out that he's a narcissist I see through all his BS now & it makes me sick. It's been easier to leave him than a "normal" marriage would be, I believe, because we weren't friends. I'm 33 years old & I actually enjoy living at home with my mother because I'm free to be myself & I don't have the anxiety I had at home.
1 month after we separated he started dating a woman he met on a dating site- he says they've been out 5 times & haven't had sex, only kissed. By the way, since we separated we've been intimate 2 times at the very beginning of the separation. He texts/calls me regularly asking me to come over to have sex, but I say no because I'm not interested in that at all because I know he's just using me. He's told me numerous times since we split up, and since he's been dating this woman, that he wants me back & he'll do anything to get me back. But he hasn't done anything to show me he's serious. He's taking HER out on dates and NOT his WIFE.
For the past few days he's talked to me again about us getting back together. I asked him what he was going to do about the woman he's dating. He said he'd let this woman go completely if he knew that I was serious about us possibly getting back together. After thinking about it for a number of days, I told him that I would consider us getting back together again, but he'd have to make the effort to take me out, woo me, talk to me, open up to me about himself, etc. There would be no spending the night all the time, I'm not moving back in & I'm not going over there just to have sex with him (he's going to have to earn that from me).
Later in the night we talked & I asked if he had told her that we were going to try to work things out. He said that he had texted her & told her that they weren't going to be able to go out on their date tomorrow...to me it just seems like he wants to have his cake & eat it too. He says he wants his wife back & he loves me so much & he wants us to be a family & raise our daughter together...BUT...you're holding on to this woman that you barely know & you're still looking around the dating website too. I know that I can do so much better than this man. I'm happy at my mom's house. I really don't want to deal with all his shenanigans. I'm willing to let him try because he says he's going to do the right thing this time, but should i even bother????
I'm not in love with my husband anymore. Frankly, I don't really like him because since I've figured out that he's a narcissist I see through all his BS now & it makes me sick. It's been easier to leave him than a "normal" marriage would be, I believe, because we weren't friends. I'm 33 years old & I actually enjoy living at home with my mother because I'm free to be myself & I don't have the anxiety I had at home.
1 month after we separated he started dating a woman he met on a dating site- he says they've been out 5 times & haven't had sex, only kissed. By the way, since we separated we've been intimate 2 times at the very beginning of the separation. He texts/calls me regularly asking me to come over to have sex, but I say no because I'm not interested in that at all because I know he's just using me. He's told me numerous times since we split up, and since he's been dating this woman, that he wants me back & he'll do anything to get me back. But he hasn't done anything to show me he's serious. He's taking HER out on dates and NOT his WIFE.
For the past few days he's talked to me again about us getting back together. I asked him what he was going to do about the woman he's dating. He said he'd let this woman go completely if he knew that I was serious about us possibly getting back together. After thinking about it for a number of days, I told him that I would consider us getting back together again, but he'd have to make the effort to take me out, woo me, talk to me, open up to me about himself, etc. There would be no spending the night all the time, I'm not moving back in & I'm not going over there just to have sex with him (he's going to have to earn that from me).
Later in the night we talked & I asked if he had told her that we were going to try to work things out. He said that he had texted her & told her that they weren't going to be able to go out on their date tomorrow...to me it just seems like he wants to have his cake & eat it too. He says he wants his wife back & he loves me so much & he wants us to be a family & raise our daughter together...BUT...you're holding on to this woman that you barely know & you're still looking around the dating website too. I know that I can do so much better than this man. I'm happy at my mom's house. I really don't want to deal with all his shenanigans. I'm willing to let him try because he says he's going to do the right thing this time, but should i even bother????
Put the internet to work for you.
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