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unhealthy obsession with someone

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I slept with my brother's friend a few years ago - twice and from then on, I always dream about our night together! I don't love this guy at all, all I want to do is sleep with him and get that buzz again. Ive been with my boyfriend for three years and the bedroom department is boring, we tried but he isnt interested. I messaged this other guy about meeting in a hotel and I know for a fact he will sleep with me if I asked him but I feel disgusting and desperate and I do not want to cheat on my boyfriend. I have this unhealthy obsession and we are going to be at a party together soon, and I am absolutely dreading it because I don't think I will control myself! Please for the love of God help me! :(

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