I wanted to say a few words about trust & faith. First, I feel the need to issue a disclaimer- this is only for about 90% of the betrayals. I know there are those 10% that are so extreme as to be considered marginally justified, so for those of you in that position, spare me (stated nicely). Next, I use the terms "marriage" and "spouse" interchangeably for those living together as well. Lastly, I am not someone trained in this, but even better than that I have been around many many years and moved in the real world with all it has to offer- both bad & good. This makes me far more able to speak on such things than polls taken at random by eggheads. This is solely my views and I will speak short and simple (as I am a simple person and not very eloquent).
The first thing to consider is how does faith & trust come about in a marriage? When 2 people marry, trust & faith simply appears out of the necessity and demands of the moment. Almost like magic. It's there because you love each other. Love begets trust & faith.
So how is it defined and what is it? Trust & faith is 100% "knowledge". The knowledge that in ones head (trust) and in ones heart (faith) they know their spouse would never, under any circumstances or disposition, betray them. They keep their eyes on their spouse and in good or bad times ultimately work together for each other's good.
So what happens to it when one betrays the other? It disappears forever. "Checking up/in" is neither trust nor faith. Nor does it build either. It is simply satisfying ones curiosity as to what their spouse is up to at that very moment in time. It only reflects that moment and can easily be manipulated. This is a fake form of trust/faith and people who accept it as the real thing are always disappointed later.
Can genuine trust & faith return? Sadly, no. That 100% knowledge is now knowledge that your spouse has, can and will betray you. In some cases while they may never actually betray again, the propensity is established as alcohol is to an alcoholic. This new knowledge replaces the old knowledge forever. Many betrayed spouses will claim to have trust, but it is either fake, minimally partial or self delusional. It is also a coping mechanism.
Why is this so? Many, if not most, of the laws around the earth arise from the Old Testament. Aside from being God's law they are full of general flawless wisdom/principles and have stood the test of time. Granted times have changed and attitudes have also changed, but the principles remain the same. Marital betrayal was a capitol offense. Why? Because betraying a spouse in this way is to, in fact, murder them. Something within a betrayed spouse dies. Be it their spirit, their self worth… a death of sorts occurs. Also, trust & faith are definitively killed forever in a betrayal. So for intentionally creating death(s) within a spouse, the penalty is equally harsh.
Well, that's it. Sorry it was so hastily put together.
The first thing to consider is how does faith & trust come about in a marriage? When 2 people marry, trust & faith simply appears out of the necessity and demands of the moment. Almost like magic. It's there because you love each other. Love begets trust & faith.
So how is it defined and what is it? Trust & faith is 100% "knowledge". The knowledge that in ones head (trust) and in ones heart (faith) they know their spouse would never, under any circumstances or disposition, betray them. They keep their eyes on their spouse and in good or bad times ultimately work together for each other's good.
So what happens to it when one betrays the other? It disappears forever. "Checking up/in" is neither trust nor faith. Nor does it build either. It is simply satisfying ones curiosity as to what their spouse is up to at that very moment in time. It only reflects that moment and can easily be manipulated. This is a fake form of trust/faith and people who accept it as the real thing are always disappointed later.
Can genuine trust & faith return? Sadly, no. That 100% knowledge is now knowledge that your spouse has, can and will betray you. In some cases while they may never actually betray again, the propensity is established as alcohol is to an alcoholic. This new knowledge replaces the old knowledge forever. Many betrayed spouses will claim to have trust, but it is either fake, minimally partial or self delusional. It is also a coping mechanism.
Why is this so? Many, if not most, of the laws around the earth arise from the Old Testament. Aside from being God's law they are full of general flawless wisdom/principles and have stood the test of time. Granted times have changed and attitudes have also changed, but the principles remain the same. Marital betrayal was a capitol offense. Why? Because betraying a spouse in this way is to, in fact, murder them. Something within a betrayed spouse dies. Be it their spirit, their self worth… a death of sorts occurs. Also, trust & faith are definitively killed forever in a betrayal. So for intentionally creating death(s) within a spouse, the penalty is equally harsh.
Well, that's it. Sorry it was so hastily put together.
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