Reconcile, Separate, or Divorce?

Hi - My marriage of 18 years has been in bad shape since November. My wife and I are both in our mid-40's, kids are in high school and while we are not wealthy, we have a good life. I found out about my wife's affair in November and confronted her. She denied she was having an affair but, said she was unhappy and was unsure if she wanted to remain married. Since that time, we have been more like roommates than husband and wife. No affection and no intimacy at all. We dont fight or argue and spend very little time together. I do believe she is still having an affair of some sort but, have not confronted her because I know she will deny it. I have enough evidence to know that my suspicions are correct though.

I'm hurt and confused but, think I still love my wife. I think I want to reconcile but, she has had an affair before (6 years ago that she admitted to) and I'm wondering now if she just doesnt want to remain married but, is comfortable with her lifestyle and doesnt want to give it up?

What I'm struggling with is what to do? One day I'm certain I want to try and save our marriage and the next day I'm just as certain that I need to move on. How does one know what the right thing to do is? My heart wants to reconcile but, my brain tells me there is just too much history and damage that has been done.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice.

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