For men and women.
My 2 cents.
- Recognize that this is a journey. Recognize that your thoughts and feelings are not the same your partners. Your PoV is not the same as your partners. And your PoV is no more right than your partners.
- LISTEN not to just hear the words but to understand where THEY are coming from from THEIR PoV. The thing that you are talking about does not have a totally right or wrong answer whether it is components of sex, money, domestic arrangements, work. So leave alone the right fight. Recognize you already understand your own PoV. And put your energy to understanding the other PoV. Not agreeing with. Just understanding. The goal is not to "win" but to understand each other enough to be able to talk on the same page.
- Set EFFECTIVE limits. Figure out your Deal Breakers. Not how you want every little thing to be. But your honest to god deal breakers. They may be influenced by where you find yourself at any given time. Anything that is not a deal breaker, negotiate lightly and accept as much as you can. Deal breakers are limits. Keep them. Don't argue. Don't cajole. Don't threaten unless you are ready to follow through. Just Don't Engage.
- Do not avoid. Do not lie to save feelings. Do not appease. Speak truth as you know it as kindly as you can. Accept truth as it comes to you as gracefully as you can. Hiding and lying causes more problems than the ones you cannot face, and does nothing to solve them.
My 2 cents.
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